- Lynette discovers who started the fire at Rick's restaurant; Bree gives Orson an ultimatum to turn himself in; Susan reconnects with Karl; Katherine finds out that Dylan is secretly meeting with her father.
- Lynette finds out that the twins, Preston and Porter, are responsible for starting the fire at Rick's restaurant. But the true culprit is the crafty Kayla who finally begins escalating her twisted quest to destroy the Scavo family by trickery and intimidation. While Lynette sees through the charming, but very sociopath, Kayla's nefarious plans, the naive and immature Tom, blinded by his own denial, refuses to believe that Kayla is responsible for everything bad that is happening to the family. Meanwhile, Bree gives Orson an ultimatum to turn himself in after finding out that he was the one who attempted to kill Mike. Orson refuses, and is forced to move out of the house. But as always, the man-hungry Edie appears and offers her house for Orson to stay in while he looks for a new place. Susan reconnects with her ex-husband, Karl, whom she meets at a Lamaze class with his new young wife. Carlos and Gabrielle rent out their spare bedroom to Ellie, a young artist, whom Gabrielle suspects is running a prostitution ring from their house. Also, Katherine finally finds out that Dylan is secretly meeting with her father, Wayne Davis.—Anonymous
- Lynette finds out who started the fire at Rick's restaurant; Bree gives Orson an ultimatum to turn himself in; Susan reconnects with Karl; Carlos and Gabrielle rent out their spare bedroom; Katherine finally finds out that Dylan is secretly meeting with her father.
- "Desperate Housewives" - "Opening Doors" - May 4, 2008
Previously on "DH": Orson's secret about running down Mike came out and Bree couldn't forgive him; Lynette's step-daughter Kayla tortured Lynette; Dylan Mayfair's dad, Gary Cole in creepy mode, tracked her down.
Mary Alice tells us that couple's accumulate lovely things that make a house a home but when the home is broken these things must be divided. The most dignified way to do this is to keep the things that are most important to them. Bree and Orson are dividing things. There's only one thing in the house he wants: her. Bree says he can't have it. Orson points out that all husbands make mistakes. Bree is drawing the line at the attempted murder of her best friend's husband. He asks what he can do to change her mind. She says he can turn himself in to the police and face prison, and that if he could muster that kind of moral courage she would wait for him. He says he can't go to prison. She goes back to dividing things. Orson leaves.
As we see people on Wisteria Lane opening their doors Mary Alice tells us that letting people into our home means letting them into our lives. Justine Bateman shows up to rent a room at the Solis house. There's some tension about renting the room because Carlos turned down what he thought was a hot guy who might tempt Gaby. Justine, who is playing a hip bohemian chick named Ellie, refocuses them by telling them that she had a successful life she's junked in favor of becoming an art student. She's got cash and she's in.
Over at the Scavo house Tom and Lynette are trying to punish Parker and Preston for torching Rick's place by making them wash dishes. Tom wants to try therapy, Lynette wants to handle it in house. Tom says the next month will be like boot camp for them because they'll be doing his chores.
Julie brings Susan to Lamaze. Susan refuses to relinquish her chimichanga before class. Julie leaves and Mike has a "rehab thing" tonight so Susan's on her own. Julie rushes back in to warn Susan that her ex-husband Karl is coming into the class with his pregnant new wife, which she didn't tell Susan about because she knew she would freak out. Susan freaks out. Karl calls it a small world and Susan fat. He introduces his beautiful, young, blonde wife Marissa. He marvels over the odds of them both ending up pregnant at the same time, especially her, digging at the age of her eggs. She tells him to take his "child bride" to another class. He calls her jealous since Marissa's young, leggy, and a law professor. Oh and they live in a ski chalet. He also points out her chimichanga is dripping. Susan smothers her pain in chipotle sauce.
In the Mayfair house Dylan is taking off, Katherine tells her to be home by 10. Dylan balks. Katherine asks for an invitation to meet this new boy. Dylan declines saying she doesn't even know if she likes him yet. She goes to meet her dad.
Gaby is looking for a nail file and goes to see if Ellie has one. In Ellie's room, a man is sitting on her bed. Gaby introduces herself to him. Ellie looks annoyed. Gaby tells Carlos about how now she's seen two guys in one night in Ellie's room. Carlos replies, "Okay now we have two tramps living in our house." She feels bad and goes back to apologize and hears the man leave and watches Ellie walk up the stairs counting cash. She reports back to Carlos: "There may be two tramps in this house but only one of them is getting paid."
Mrs. McCluskey is on the Scavo porch asking Lynette abouts Ida's cat. Although there's no sign of it McCluskey figures if it's anything like Ida it will stumble back to her house when it's drunk and "Guiding Light" is on. Lynette overhears the twins working on the lawn mower and complaining that Kayla isn't being punished. It turns out that the fire that torched Rick's pizzeria that the twins' set was her idea. Lynette goes to ask her about it.
Kayla says, much like Billy Joel, she didn't start the fire. Kayla says it was a joke and that she didn't think they'd do it. She shows no remorse, since no one was hurt. Lynette is aghast. Kayla thinks it's good that she's punishing the twins because they're bad kids. She's all steely-eyed and bad seed-esque as she combs her doll's hair.
Back at Lamaze this time with Mike, Susan's all dressed up to annoy Karl. Mike realizes why they're overdressed when he spies Karl. He's annoyed that she didn't tell him. She wanted to show that they're doing well too. Mike isn't going to lie about who he is. Susan is asking him not to lie but to "spin." Karl says hello by saying "Hey plumber, somebody clog a toilet?" They banter about how great Mike is doing with his plumbing business, how they have to go fancy parties. Marissa whines that Karl never takes her out. Mike explains that he was absent from the previous Lamaze class because he was getting his 30 day chip. Karl raises his eyebrows and says "so you're an alkie?"
At the Scavo house Lynette tells Tom about Kayla. He suggests making her a dishwashing buddy for the boys. Lynette suggests that she needs professional help. Tom is amazed that Lynette was against therarpy for the boys, but wants it for "his kid." She points out what Kayla has been through and that her mother was a psycho. Tom is annoyed and says no therapy for Kayla.
Orson is sitting on the his old stoop drunk. Bree drives up. Oson says he's prepared to go to the police. He says the key to his defense will be his recent sleepwalking incidents. Bree calls it a defense born of "cowardice and amaretto sours." He cries that he just wants to come home. Edie drives by and is glad to see them patch things up. Bree disabuses her of that notion and pours Orson into her car directing Edie to take him home. Orson doesn't want to go since the divorced men in his apartment building want to start a book club. She offers to let him sleep it off on her couch.
Gaby is telling Bob and Lee about the parade of men coming in out and of Ellie's room and wants the more straight-seeming one Bob to solicit her services so Gaby can trap her and break the lease. The more flamboyant one, Lee, is offended saying he was quite the high school thespian, winning raves for his "Tony" in "West Side Story." Bob notes that Lee also made out with Office Krupke during intermission. (Bob also points out that he went to his high school prom with a girl). Gaby tells them she doesn't care who does it, just to work it out.
Susan is mad as they leave Lamaze, wishing Mike hadn't brought up rehab. He notes that Marissa congratulated him and Susan retorts that Karl made his "happy monkey face" and wishes that Mike wouldn't share their deep, dark secrets. He says his sobriety is not dark and that part of working the program is being honest and that what he cares about is his battle for his sobriety not what Karl thinks of him. Susan, once again, put firmly in her place about her shallowness.
Lynette takes Kayla to the therapist, obviously secretly. Kayla is annoyed and says that her mother's death was a long time ago and she's fine. Lynette talks about right and wrong and Kayla says she can tell the difference. Kayla works it out in her head and threatens going to the police, saying not telling them would be wrong. The therapist comes out and, surprise, Lynette has had a change of heart.
Ellie is working on her art in the Solis front yard. Lee comes out to solicit Ellie. Ellie slaps him and kicks him. Gaby runs out and kicks him to keep her cover. Bob and Lee force Gaby to tell Ellie that she thought she was a hooker and had Lee proposition her. She tries to apologize to Ellie. She explains how the scenario looked to her. Ellie explains that she does tattoos and that her boss at a downtown parlor was taking 70 percent of her money so she's doing them in the Solis house for cash to make enough to open her own shop. She offers to leave. (This smells fishy, I still think she's a whore.) Gaby tells her she doesn't have to go saying looking the other way for a few months is the least she can do for thinking she was a whore. Ellie returns to her room and it turns out that she's actually a drug dealer.
At Edie's house Bree comes to the door to thank her for helping with Orson and wants to know if Orson told her when he'd be coming back for his car. Edie says Bree can ask herself when Orson gets out of the shower, explaining he spent the night. Bree says she's not comfortable with that pointing out the Edie has a habit at picking at other women's leftovers. (Karl, Mike, Carlos et. al.) Edie says she is offended, not attracted to Orson, and that sleeping with him would be "like having sex with PBS." But, since Bree is calling her a big slut Edie tells her that she will let Orson stay as long as he wants just to piss her off.
At the Scavo house Tom is blowing up at Lynette taking Kayla to therapy behind his back. Kayla watches and then leaves the house with an umbrella. She eyes the twins, who have their backs turned to her in the yard, and glowers at them. She jumps off the stoop with the umbrella and pretends that she jumped off the roof. She goads them into doing it by leaving the umbrella. Tom and Lynette are still arguing when they hear a thump and a cry. One of them has jumped off the roof and hurt his arm. Mrs. McCluskey rushes over and says she'll watch the kids as they go to the hospital. Kayla smiles an evil smile at Lynette as they drive away.
At Lamaze Karl and Susan are alone because Mike isn't feeling well and Marissa is at her book signing. Karl needles her. Susan finally tells Karl he wins. Karl admits they have problems too. Susan complains about worrying about Mike out using, and admits that she feels fragile which is not good when you're about to have a baby. Karl points out that she's had a baby with an unreliable guy before, him. He points out he was a liar and that at least Mike is trying to be honest. Susan wants to fast forward and see that everything will be fine. Karl tells Susan that Mike will be there for her in a way that he never was.
Mrs. McCluskey is still looking for Toby the cat asking after him at the Mayfair house where Katherine and Bree are working on their new business endeavor. Katherine compliments Bree on her offer to look for the cat, adding that it must also be a good way to keep her mind off Orson. Bree tells Katherine that she'll eventually let Orson come home but that he needs to understand the gravity of what he did. Katherine tells her to be careful of men who say they can change. Dylan comes down looking lovely and Katherine complains again about not meeting Dylan's new boyfriend. Bree tries to get to work, but Katherine wants to call it a night to go spy on Dylan. Bree smiles a conspiratorial smile and says "the key is to keep one car between yours and hers at all times, have fun."
At dinner with her dad Dylan is worried about the time. Her dad sees how hard this whole thing has been on his daughter and says he wishes they could tell Katherine the truth. But he understands she doesn't want to ruin the good thing they have going. (Honestly, her dad or not, this is all a little creepy the way he talk to and looks at her). He claims he wants to apologize to Katherine and show her how he's changed. But he leaves it in her hands. She now grabs his hand across the table. Katherine spies them through the restaurant window, clearly unsettled.
Orson is on the phone at Edie's telling her he has a room at a hotel in Mt. Pleasant. Edie says she's happy to have him continue imposing thanks to his great martinis. Edie lies and says she hasn't seen Bree and asks what happened at "Ken and Barbie's dream house." Orson says he made a mistake and Bree can't forgive him. Edie moans that perfect people like Bree don't understand when normal people screw up. He says it was a terrible mistake. She asks him if it was asomething gay. He just says to trust him that Bree will never forgive him and perhaps he's not worthy of it. She asks if he's sorry for what he did. He says he is, more than anyone will know. Edie says he's worthy of forgiveness then. Orson thanks her and begins to cry. Since they're drunk they start making out. Orson pulls back. Edie agrees blaming the martini. Bree who has found Ida's cat on Edie's porch sees the kiss and is freaked.
Dylan comes to her mother who is kneading bread and tells her the truth that she's been having dinner with her dad. Katherine pretends to not be upset, saying she knew this day was coming and she prepared herself. Dylan goes to get him. He comes in and greets her by calling her "Kathy." Katherine sends Dylan to her room so she and her dad can catch up.
He compliments the great job Katherine did with Dylan and that she hasn't aged a day. Katherine kneads her bread and says nothing. He claims he's here for Dylan, and Katherine says that while Dylan may believe that, she doesn't since she knows him. He protests that he's changed in the last 12 years. He says that she has to admit that it's possible. She says she's also changed in that she's not scared of any more. He says she doesn't have to be. She says she is not the same woman he knocked around, punched, choked, "the woman whose blood you licked off your knuckles. She's gone, so you'll just have to prove you're a man some other way." He asks if she's deliberately trying to make him mad. They eye each other. He leaves saying he'll call Dylan tomorrow, adding that she's still incredibly beautiful. She gives a trembling, tearful, exhale and shuts a drawer next to her that has a handgun in it. (It seems she wanted to provoke an attack so she could shoot him and might be a little disappointed.)
As Ida's cat runs across Mrs. McCluskey's welcome mat, Mary Alice returns to tell us that the word welcome always carries with it a certain amount of risk and reiterates that letting someone into your home is tantamount to letting them into your life and we never know what sorts of horrible secrets they carry with them (as we see Gaby pass Justine in the hallway). We cant foresee the painful effect they might have on our love ones (as we see Lynette and Tom close Kayla's door for the night with Lynette offering a lingering glance). We dont anticipate the gossip that could result from their presence (as Edie walks in to her house to a martini-wielding Orson). Yes we must be very careful with those we invite into our lives because some will refuse to leave (as we see Katherine watch her ex drive away).
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