Schitt's Creek (TV Series)
Life Is a Cabaret (2019)
Chris Elliott: Roland Schitt
Quotes
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Ted Mullens : Hey David! Congratulations! I'm really happy for you.
David Rose : You know? I was going to be the one to let people know?
Ted Mullens : Oh, your dad doesn't know?
Johnny Rose : Know what son?
Roland Schitt : If you're talking about Dave's big engagement news? A best man hasn't been chosen but we think it's going to be a black tie affair.
Johnny Rose : David? You're engaged?
David Rose : Yeah! Sure!
Johnny Rose : David! Congratulations! You deserve all of the happiness in the world! We'll pick this up later.
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David Rose : [Standing on the chair] Everyone? I would just like to say a big congratulations to Team Cabaret. You guys were awesome. Speaking of love...
Roland Schitt : [Raspy voice] Somebody got engaged!
David Rose : Speaking of love, I'm so glad that you're all here because Patrick and I have an announcement to make.
Jocelyn Schitt : [Very drunk] They're getting married!
David Rose : Jocelyn! I'm the one standing on the chair! Two years ago I went to fill out some paperwork for my business license and little did I know I would meet the love of my
[Moira's phone starts ringing]
David Rose : MY. GOD!
Moira Rose : Sorry, this is me. It's probably press. I'm sorry David I have to take this. I already know about your engagement!
[blows David kisses]
Ronnie Lee : So you're engaged to him?
David Rose : Okay, so this shouldn't be so hard!
Alexis Rose : Oh my god, David spit it out!
David Rose : Oh my god! Fine! I met someone who changed my life and I don't know what I would do without him? So yes, we all know that Patrick and I are engaged!
Moira Rose : NO! NO! NO!
Stevie Budd : My God!
Johnny Rose : [Everyone runs into the other room to find Moira collapsed on the floor] If it's a bad review Moira I wouldn't trust local critics.
Moira Rose : They shelved the Crowing! It's over.
[Moira crawls into a closet, shuts the door and starts crying]
Johnny Rose : [Standing in front of the closet door] Show's over people! Nothing here to see.
David Rose : Okay everyone if you can just leave your champagne flutes here. Unless you still want to make a toast?
[Patrick shakes his head no]
David Rose : Okay just leave your champagne flutes here. Thank you!
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Alexis Rose : Who's going to plan the wedding?
Roland Schitt : Well, I could ask Jocelyn to do it - she planned her cousin's funeral for less than$100.