- Gene: Now. Yesterday's shooting. The dealers are all so scared we're more likely to get Helen Keller to talk. The Paki in a coma's about as lively as Liberace's dick when he's looking at a naked woman, all in all this investigation's going at the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory.
- Sam Tyler: [Sam Tyler, aghast, drops the radio he is holding]
- Gene: What?
- Sam Tyler: Think you might have missed out the Jews.
- Gene: What?
- Sam Tyler: I think we need to explore whether this attempted murder was a hate crime.
- Gene: What as opposed to one of those I-really-really-like-you sort of murders?
- [speaking to a White Supremacist after he claims himself superior]
- Sam Tyler: Superior? You're not superior to an amoeba with special needs.
- Gene: You said he was dead!
- Ray Carling: Well, he wasn't moving.
- Gene: Chris doesn't move, but he's not dead!
- [looking at a body]
- Chris Skelton: I wonder what killed him?
- Gene Hunt: That'll be the bloody enormous hole in his chest where the bullet went in!
- Gene: Drugs, eh? What's the point. They make you forget, make you talk funny, make you see things that aren't there. My old grandma got all of that for free when she had a stroke.
- [looking at a body]
- Annie Cartwright: Boss? There's a viscous yellow liquid in his ear.
- Gene Hunt: No, that's a drip from my fried egg butty, love. Well done, Miss Marple. That's why we need women detectives.
- Sam Tyler: There's no history of drug dealing amongst the Gujerati Ugandan Asians.
- Gene Hunt: Blahdy blahdy history bloody blah! It doesn't take a degree in Applied Bollocks to know what's going on.
- Sam Tyler: Go on, then. Amaze me with your insubstantial guesswork.
- Gene Hunt: He's come over here, started dealing and Rocket or one of the other local drug boys has took offence and offed him.
- Sam Tyler: That's better that even *I* expected. Copper leaps to a conclusion then finds the evidence to fit.
- [Sam wonders whether the National Front planted drugs on the victim to make it look like a drug-related crime]
- Gene Hunt: The NF are far too stupid for that. They could stick a shotgun up my arse and pull the trigger - they'd still miss!
- [Toolbox Terry is questioning Rocket about drug dealers. His sidekick Big Bird is holding a large sack]
- Toolbox Terry: So Rocket, what's going on.
- Rocket: My business involves the sacred bond of trust. Geezer, I can't. I would rather have rabid ferrets munch on my testicles.
- Toolbox Terry: You always say that, don't you, Rocket.
- [Toolbox Terry nods at Big Bird who begins to pull something out of the sack]
- Rocket: [gulping] What's in the sack?
- [Big Bird reveals a ferret]
- Big Bird: Not rabid, boss, but they are *very* annoyed.
- [Toolbox Terry pulls down Rocket's Y-fronts. Big Bird takes a look]
- Big Bird: Poor ferrets. Not going to be getting much of a lunch.