- Lisa Douglas: [Oliver is upset when Ralph, a great cook, goes back to her brother] If food means that much to you maybe you should find someone else.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What?
- Lisa Douglas: Oliver, when you married me you knew I couldn't cook, sew, keep house. All I could do was speak Hungarian and do impressions of Zsa Zsa Gabor.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Who?
- Sam Drucker: [to Oliver, after Arnold leaves with a basket of groceries] You know, Fred don't even miss Doris. It's amazin' how that pig has taken her place!