- Tamaki Suou: Yeah, I'm handsome, I'm wild, and I'm gonna steal your hearts, pretty ladies.
- Girls: Oh! We love it when you talk like a Samurai, Tamaki!
- [Mori suddenly and inexplicably jumps into action as a fierce samurai warrior, frightening the other hosts]
- Tamaki Suou: Please calm down, Mori-senpai! I know you're upset that you only have one line an episode. We're three fourths into the season and you haven't had your own episode. Is that it? I'm sorry.
- Takashi Morinozuka: No. We have a trespasser.
- Kyoya Otori: Ritsu Kasanode, 1st year, Class D. Heir to the third generation head of the Kasanoda syndicate, the most powerful gang in the Kanto area. He was admitted this year into Ouran Academy's High School. He has long red hair, a mean-looking appearance, is reserved, and has few friends. It is said if your eyes meet his, you'll have bad dreams for three months. If you bump into him, you'll end up in the hospital. And talking back to him sends you to an early grave. He is so feared by his classmates that they call him the Walking Blizzard.
- [sign appears: "Those who approach him are frozen over"]
- Tamaki Suou: But why would a human weapon like yourself want to be Mori-senpai's apprentice?
- Ritsu Kasanoda: Well, because... Look, I may be tough but I'm not a human weapon. I was just born with a face that makes me look mean all the time.
- Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin: Well, at least you're aware of it, Casanova.
- Ritsu Kasanoda: It's Kasanoda!
- Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin: Bossa Nova?
- Ritsu Kasanoda: [eyes glow red as he makes evil, scary face] I said it was Kasanoda! Do you wanna die?
- Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin: [having jumped behind a sofa] Phew. He really IS mean-looking.
- Ritsu Kasanoda: Morinozuka-senpai, that's why I need you to show me. How do you manage to have so many friends when you're just as mean-looking as me? You're expressionless, distant, and you hardly ever talk. Plus, you've got a mug that looks like a watchdog from hell, so how come you've got so many friends? What are you doing that I'm not? Please teach me your secrets!
- Ritsu Kasanoda: [thinking to himself about Haruhi] You know, this guy doesn't seem to be afraid of me at all. He's got such big dark eyes, and sparkly. He really is like a chick. Chicks are especially afraid of me. Never had a chance to talk to a girl like this before.
- Ritsu Kasanoda: [horrified by the romantic direction of his thoughts] D'yah! Holy crap! What's gotten into me? What the hell am I thinking? Haruhi is a DUDE!
- Ritsu Kasanoda: So you helped me? But how come?
- Takashi Morinozuka: We can tell who the bad guys are by looking at 'em.
- Haruhi Fujioka: I should probably go back and change clothes.
- Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin: [devilishly] Want us to come help you?
- Haruhi Fujioka: [coldly] Drop dead.
- Tamaki Suou: There are many differences between you and our belovéd Mori-senpai, but there is also one very definite thing that you are lacking. And that is a lovely item.
- Ritsu Kasanoda: A lovely... item?
- Tamaki Suou: Bossa Nova, I would like to introduce you to... a lovely item named Mitsukuni. Sure, Mori-senpai may be kind of mean-looking, and he may seem distant when you first meet him, but what if we put Mitsukuni on his shoulders? Suddenly, it's like he's a forest Teddy Bear that all the animals adore!