- [Bertrand has just delivered a photograph to Conchita]
- Don Vascuela Ibanaz: Who is it, Conchita?
- Conchita Vascuela Ibanaz: He is a photographer, Papa, with a picture of Peter. Is he not beautiful?
- Don Vascuela Ibanaz: He is *not* beautiful.
- [Conchita glances at the quivering photographer]
- Conchita Vascuela Ibanaz: Oh, not him, Papa - Peter!
- William Linn: Pete, why'd you do it? You're the best foreman I ever had. You speak a couple of languages...
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Five.
- William Linn: Yeah, and you're a whiz at figures and cattle and farming...
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: And architecture and wine making...
- William Linn: All right! Why'd you do it then?
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: It's my Conchita. I needed the money to marry her.
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: A Count Van Lornthing does not enter a bargain empty-handed.
- William Linn: Oh, I see. Without money, you're no bargain.
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Oh, no. Conchita loves me - and I can make her father even more rich. He'll be able to sit under the grape arbor with his grandsons on his knees and grow richer... but I didn't want to come as a begger. It was a matter of principle.
- William Linn: Well, you were kind of careless about *principle* when it came to my money.
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Well, I couldn't wait any longer. A rose left too long on a bush will go to seed.
- [the count has been leaving a trail for the pursuing vaqueros]
- William Linn: Oh, I'm sure glad I got you here before your pants fell off. I was afraid you was gonna run our of buttons.
- [Count Van Lornthing has agreed not to break out of Charley's jail until he gets paid for its construction]
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: What's wrong? You look like you lost your last friend.
- Charley Converse: Don't say that! Look, I don't know how to tell you this, Pete, but it's them vaqueros.
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: [chuckling] What about them?
- Charley Converse: Well, the commissioner just talked to 'em on the road about an hour ago. They're likely to be here any minute now, see.
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Oh, don't worry, Charley. They won't do anything to you. I'll tell them that you're a friend of mine.
- Charley Converse: Yeah, well, it ain't me I'm worried about, Pete. The don sent them after you. They're gonna kill ya! You see, the commissioner sent 'em the wrong way so I could be ready. He don't want a murder in a brand new jail, you understand.
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Charley, you're going to have to make a decision.
- Charley Converse: What do you mean?
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Would you prefer people to say you're a sloppy builder or a sloppy jailer?
- Charley Converse: ...If I get my druthers, I'd rather be a sloppy jailer.
- [Conchita bites the Count's hand]
- Count Peter Van Lornthing: Don't do that again, my little cactus, or I'll take the sting out of you.