- Counselor: People your age in the work force are usually considered real pains in the ass.
- Bridget Cardigan: Are you aware that statement is discriminatory and illegal?
- Counselor: See! And you don't even work for me.
- Molly: [Pointing to stacks of money] That could be your savings account!
- Bridget Cardigan: I don't think so, it has money in it.
- Nina Brewster: You spent the money!
- Bridget Cardigan: What're you talking about?
- Nina Brewster: [pulls off Bridget's glove revealing a $62,000 ring] This.
- Bridget Cardigan: It's nothing, it's costume jewelry, it's not even real.
- Nina Brewster: Really?
- Bridget Cardigan: Yes.
- Nina Brewster: Good!
- [flushes it down the toilet]
- Bridget Cardigan: [trying to assure Nina who is nervous about her sex abilities] It's like riding a bicycle... upside down.
- Jackie Truman: Since I was 9, I knew for every day of the rest of my life I'd have to stick a needle in my arm. Early onset diabetes. But I didn't tell them.
- [from trailer]
- Nina Brewster: Do you know what it is when you trade sex for money?
- Jackie Truman: Advertising!
- Bob Truman: Something about stuff on display... it's even if you got the same stuff. The way they lay it out... makes you want. Wanting is the root of all, uh, needing.
- Bridget Cardigan: Are you watching when everybody goes everywhere? I really hope so because maybe you can tell me why they can't use the facility in such a way as to keep everything in the facility.
- Jackie Truman: [while hiding money in their panties] I'm going to have to buy some boring underwear!
- Nina Brewster: She was out shopping. That's when the idea came to her, when she was out shopping, being a good American.
- Bridget Cardigan: We'll think outside the box!
- Don Cardigan: Well that's good because we're selling the box and moving into a smaller box.
- Bryce Arbogast: You didn't pay taxes.
- Nina Brewster: On stolen money?
- Bryce Arbogast: I didn't hear that.
- Bridget Cardigan: You want to talk about this sweetie?
- Don Cardigan: Why on Earth would I want to talk about it? Its over!
- Bridget Cardigan: [On being asked how work was] You remember that Frontline we saw on third world slave labor?
- Bob Truman: The thing about a perfect machine though, you drop in one loose screw, and *bammm!*
- Detective: Ah, Jesus!
- Bob Truman: You think I like thinking of my wife on her feet from 9-to-5 ripping off the government?