- Ted Mosby: [about Hammond Druthers] Well... it's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. So, I went to talk to the managing partner...
- Brady: Fire him.
- Ted Mosby: Well, sir, I was thinking he could just be put on a different project.
- Ted Mosby: Fire him! He's an arrogant, washed-up, pain in the ass. In fact, fire everyone on that project. Druthers, Mosby, the whole lot of them.
- Ted Mosby: [Sheepish] Mosby, sir? I, I... I hear Mosby's doing some great work.
- Brady: Fine, Mosby can stay. But tell him he's on thin ice. Come here.
- [Pinches Ted's cheeks]
- Brady: I like you, Crosby.
- Carl: Hey Marshall, what are you having?
- Marshall Eriksen: What I'll have, oh I don't know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!
- Carl: Oh, I'm sorry. That painting is property of the bar.
- Marshall Eriksen: I know that Barney gave you that painting!
- Carl: I don't know what you're talking about...
- Marshall Eriksen: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!
- Carl: I doubt it.
- Marshall Eriksen: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you that plus ten bucks!
- Carl: I doubt it.
- Marshall Eriksen: Alright, you know what, Carl? You just lost yourself a regular customer!
- Carl: [Beat] I doubt it.
- Barney Stinson: Hey, guys! Guess what I got? A new dart!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Oh wow, a new dart!
- Ted Mosby: Hey, that new dart is great!
- Robin Scherbatsky: I did not know you were such a fan of "new dart", Barney!
- Barney Stinson: Oh yes, Robyn, I just love "nude art"..."nude art"
- Barney Stinson: [after an awkward stare from Marshall] "nude art"!
- [laughs]
- Marshall Eriksen: You found the painting, didn't you?
- Barney Stinson: [after seeing the picture Lily painted of him] She left out little Barney... Barnickle Jr... My Barnana...
- Ted Mosby: Robin, I just had a great idea.
- Robin Scherbatsky: [Trying to sleep] Do whatever you want to me, just don't wake me up...
- Ted Mosby: [after watching Marshall steal his nude painting from the bar] One of my worst fears just came true- I saw Marshall grab himself naked.
- Ted Mosby: [after Barney shows him a picture of Naked-Marshall] Oh my God. This is awesome times awesome, it's awesome square.
- Lily Aldrin: [Trying to paint Barney with a sword in his hand] I don't think your sword will fit.
- Barney Stinson: I get that a lot.
- Lily Aldrin: [about Marshall's nude painting] I knew this day would come.
- Marshall Eriksen: How did you know that?
- Lily Aldrin: Because I didn't hide it very well.
- Barney Stinson: You have been blessed with a wonderful gift.
- Lily Aldrin: Thank you!
- Barney Stinson: I meant me.
- Barney Stinson: In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.
- Marshall Eriksen: [about Ted's situation at work] You've just gotta ask yourself; "Who's the Boss?"
- Ted Mosby: Tony!
- Robin Scherbatsky: Angela!
- Barney Stinson: *Mona!*
- Lily Aldrin: [as Robin stares at him with confusion] Mona?
- Barney Stinson: Watch it more closely. Rock your world...