Adventures of the Gummi Bears (TV Series)
Trading Faces (1991)
Michael Rye: Duke Igthorn, King Gregor, Sir Victor Igthorn
Quotes
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Duke Igthorn : Lovely day for an ambush, wouldn't you say, Greg?
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Sir Victor Igthorn : [Calla faints when he kisses her hand] Oh, if only I could fell villains with similar ease.
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Duke Igthorn : So, you can cook and clean, Vic, but can you fight?
Sir Victor Igthorn : I'll let thou be the judge, Sigmund.
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Duke Igthorn : You don't scare me, you... you clothes-washer!
Sir Victor Igthorn : At least I wash mine, Siggy Soggyshorts!
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Duke Igthorn : It's obvious taking King Gregor's crown isn't going to be easy with my goody-two-shoes brother around.
Toadwart : [with an ice pack on his head] Painfully obvious.
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Duke Igthorn : [imitating Sir Victor] "Thou shalt never be king, Sigmund!"
Toadwart : [claps] Hey, that's a pretty nifty impression. Except for black-hearted Dukie's beard, you could almost be twins.
Duke Igthorn : [turning] What, did you say?
Toadwart : Sorry. You're much more handsome.
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Sir Victor Igthorn : This courtly life is not for me, Your Majesty. Ah, what I wouldn't give to be trouncing a vandal right now.
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Sir Victor Igthorn : My lord, if I could trounce that beast, I would meet my good deeds quota for the week.
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Sir Victor Igthorn : What is that haunting scent thou art wearing? Eau de lilac?
Toadwart : Nope. Eau de lights-out.
[sprays him with sleeping gas]
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Duke Igthorn : Night-night, White Knight.
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King Gregor : So it went well, then?
Duke Igthorn : [disguised as Sir Victor, grabs a mace from the wall] I'd say things are definitely looking up for me.
King Gregor : Because I sincerely hope you've been looking forward to this moment.
Duke Igthorn : [advancing behind him] Thou hast no idea just how much I've been looking forward to this...
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Cavin : Tell us how you smote the four beasts of Dezenhurst.
Duke Igthorn : [in his face disguised as Sir Victor] With a very big stick.
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Duke Igthorn : [signing autographs disguised as Sir Victor] What torture.
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Sir Victor Igthorn : Have mercy, you villainous vermin. I would sooner brave the perils of thine pit than tolerate thine ear-piercing performance.
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King Gregor : It's a shame you weren't in the mood for storytelling.
Duke Igthorn : [taking a tapestry down acting as Sir Victor] Why, I'll tell thee a story, dear king...
[in his own voice]
Duke Igthorn : But I don't think you'll find the ending to be a happy one.
[throws the tapestry over him]
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Toadwart : Eat your words, mush mouth! Or feel the wrath of King...
Duke Igthorn : [offscreen] TOADWART! WHERE ARE YOU?
Toadwart : Dukie!
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Toadwart : Nauseating brother and stupid horse not done away with yet.
Sir Victor Igthorn : Thou can call me names, but *no one calls my horse stupid*!
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Duke Igthorn : Now sign on the dotted line and you'll be a free though crownless man.
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Duke Igthorn : My new toy will do splendid things for your figure, Greg.
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Duke Igthorn : [sees Victor on the floor] I thought you did away with him, Mush-for-Brains!
[drop-kicks Toadwart into Victor's lap, then storms out]
Duke Igthorn : Ogres! Get me that king!
Sir Victor Igthorn : Get off me, you little n'er-do-well!
[drop-kicks Toadwart into the wall, then runs out]
Toadwart : Yep. They're brothers, all right.
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King Gregor : There must be some way out of this dreadful place.
Duke Igthorn : [from behind] There is. But not for you.
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Duke Igthorn : [the ogres beat Igthorn, still in his Sir Victor disguise, before realizing it] Now, look. Don't mangle Sir Victor, or anyone who looks like him, 'til I give the order.
Sir Victor : [coming in disguised as Igthorn] All right, you loony goons. Now *I'm* giving the order: Mangle him!
Gad : Okey-dokey, Dukie!
Duke Igthorn : No, you fools, no!
[the ogres lunge at him, he runs away, tearing off his disguise]
Duke Igthorn : It's me - DUKIEEE!
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Duke Igthorn : [being chased by the ogres] IT'S ME - DUKIEEE!
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[last lines]
King Gregor : I hope you will return to Dunwyn soon, Sir Victor.
Sir Victor Igthorn : Soon will not be soon enough.
[to Calla]
Sir Victor Igthorn : And to the sweet princess, farewell.
[kisses Calla's hand, making her blush]
Princess Calla : Now that's more like it.
[faints]