- Sgt. Arthur Wilson: [echoing his repeated line in Dad's Army] Do you think that's Wise, Sir?
- Capt. George Mainwaring: No, that's Morecambe.
- Penelope Keith: I can't get down there in this dress.
- Eric Morecambe: Well do something with the dress.
- Penelope Keith: It's been specially made.
- Eric Morecambe: Yes, I realise that.
- Ernie Wise: Just climb down that.
- Penelope Keith: I really don't like that.
- Eric Morecambe: Now can you get that leg down.
- Ernie Wise: Yes. I'll hold onto it.
- Eric Morecambe: Dignity at all times.
- Ernie Wise: Yes.
- Eric Morecambe: Evenin' all. I'm sorry I'm late, but I've just been to the opticians and he said he couldn't see me.