- Principal Willard Kraft: Miss Spellman, why have you been following me around all morning?
- Sabrina Spellman: It's... your cologne Mr. Kraft, it's so great that I want to buy some for my friend Harvey.
- Principal Willard Kraft: Well, you can think about my Old Spice in detention!
- Sabrina Spellman: But what's my crime?
- Principal Willard Kraft: Smelling the Vice Principal!
- Principal Willard Kraft: [Sarcastically to Libby while under a spell] Aww, here's the world's smallest violin playing the world's saddest song just for you!
- Salem Saberhagen: [Sabrina tells Salem about her day with with a "Teenage" Mr. Kraft in charge] He played Smells like Teen Spirit with his nose?
- Sabrina Spellman: Four verses!
- Hilda Spellman: A cat is doing an imitation of me kissing my niece's vice principal. So this is my lowest moment.
- Hilda Spellman: Willard's one of those people who hit middle age and just forgot how to have fun.
- Zelda Spellman: Hildegard Antoinette Spellman. You used my laptop again without asking.
- Hilda Spellman: And then there are some people who are middle-aged their whole lives.
- Sabrina Spellman: You don't have to go out with Mr. Kraft anymore.
- Hilda Spellman: I'm seeing him again this weekend.
- Sabrina Spellman, Zelda Spellman: What?
- Hilda Spellman: Well, he may be a bad date, but when you live as long as we do, you have a lot of Friday nights to fill.
- Principal Willard Kraft: Okay, now, in order to ensure everyone's safety on this trip, I have established a few simple guidelines.
- Harvey Kinkle: No snacking between meals? Lights out at 8?
- Sabrina Spellman: No laughing?
- Principal Willard Kraft: And since we'll be staying at my ex-father-in-law's condo to save a little bit of money, everyone will have to pitch in with the chores.
- Harvey Kinkle: Will we get paid?
- Principal Willard Kraft: You will be paid with up to minutes a day of ski time, mister.
- Principal Willard Kraft: Since it's about ten minutes until school starts, I'm sure you've got some homework you've forgotten or some property to destroy.
- Principal Willard Kraft: Miss Spellman, kissing up is a way of life, not just something you do when it suits you.
- Sabrina Spellman: I have to get that carafe.
- Salem Saberhagen: Yes, and be careful, 99.
- Sabrina Spellman: What?
- Salem Saberhagen: You are so young.
- Sabrina Spellman: Hate to say this, but I can't wait to get the old Mr. Kraft back.
- Zelda Spellman: You don't change people's personalities. And if you do, you don't mix it with caffeine.
- Principal Willard Kraft: Something very odd is going on here, and I can't help but think you were responsible.
- Sabrina Spellman: Oh, well, you know, that could be sign of a concussion.
- Salem Saberhagen: [to Hilda] Before you start pointing fingers, remember one important fact: Sabrina put me up to it.
- Sabrina Spellman: Detention? What for?
- Principal Willard Kraft: New policy. Detention is now based solely on personal resentments.
- Harvey Kinkle: The PTA is sponsoring a ski trip to Vermont this weekend. Let's sign up.
- Sabrina Spellman: I can't believe the PTA came up with something fun to do. Let's see how they ruin this.
- Libby Chessler: [to Mr. Kraft] I'm so glad they picked you to chaperon the ski trip.
- Principal Willard Kraft: [to Libby] Well, you know my motto: fun, with discipline.
- Sabrina Spellman: [to Harvey] Did your hope die first or mine?