Christopher Collins: Darkstorm, Cravex, Falkama

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Mortredd : Oh, Darkstorm, it pains me to see you in such foul humor.

  Darkstorm : You think it pains *you*? Imagine how it pains *me*.

• Falkama : [being dragged from his cell by a hook]  No, no! My presentation is not finished! Wait!

• Darkstorm : And where can we locate this book?

  Falkama : It is stored in the Aphenaeum. But there is another problem.

  Darkstorm : Yes, isn't there always.

• Mortredd : [from inside the Aphernaeum]  I take this book in the name of Darkstorm, Lord of the Veldt, High Vizier of the Cliffs, and...

  [runs out yelling with the seat of his pants on fire] 

  Falkama : Ah, it seems that Smoglok still lives.

  Mortredd : [sitting in the fountain to extinguish the flames]  I was unable to reach the book, master.

  Reekon : [running in]  Let me try. I have an affinity for reptiles.

• Darkstorm : Well, rather smaller than I might have expected.

  Falkama : Uh, it was a pocket printing.

• Darkstorm : I dislike quests.

• Merklynn : Your men were right. They are following a fool.

  Darkstorm : [chuckles and holds out a wizard's-bane leaf]  *Now* who is the fool?

• Merklynn : I thought it had been eradicated from Prysmos.

  Falkama : [the wizard's bane freezes Merklynn; he appears laughing]  It has not. It has simply been marketed under another name.

• Darkstorm : [as he leans in over his shoulder]  Your nosiness will get you in trouble one day, Reekon.

  Reekon : I was going to help you read it, Darkstorm. The light here is very bad.

• Darkstorm : [his voice echoes throughout the factory he transported out of]  Mudus nullus!

  Cindarr : [the Spectral Knights are immobilized]  Look. They are frozen!

  Darkstorm : That is because I froze them, idiots.

• Darkstorm : Now get to the shrine, on the double.

  Lexor : Are you not going to transport us?

  Darkstorm : Why should I waste valuable energy on *your* laziness? Move it!

• Darkstorm : Virulina, Reekon, and Lexor all feel cheated. How about you, Cindarr?

  Cindarr : Hhhhh? I feel hungry.

• Virulina : You have ruined my face.

  Darkstorm : No, Virulina, I only made your appearance match your soul.

• Lexor : Fair leader - Darkstorm - please do not be angry with me; I-I've always been...

  Darkstorm : Stop! I am tired of your lies. Therefore, I will supply you with a translator, who will let all know what your true thoughts are. Veerus locquor semper!

  Lexor's Translator : [Appears]  A rough translation of Lexor's last speech is as follows: Darkstorm, you progeny of a swine, I will say anything to get out of this awful situation; I will betray you at first opportunity.

  Lexor : Who bears this false witness upon me?

  Lexor's Translator : Translation: How does this oaf read my mind so easily?

  Lexor : Please, Darkstorm - give me a chance to prove my loyalty!

  Lexor's Translator : Translation: I will do anything to get out of this.

  Darkstorm : Yes, Lexor. The voice of truth would be a terrible pain to you.

• Darkstorm : We will have many slaves. And *you* will be intelligent, Cindarr.

  Cindarr : [in a vision in the crystal ball]  Slave, fetch me my tract on magical physics.

  Cryotek : [walking over and kneeling before him]  Yes, my great master.

  Cindarr : [laughing watches the scene]  Cryotek my slave!

  Cindarr : [in the vision]  It has occurred to me, Darkstorm, that slavery is not really a good idea. Men lacking incentive are not nearly as productive as...

  Darkstorm : [sighs lowering the crystal]  Maybe I should make you a little *less* intelligent.

• Darkstorm : You shall have followers who are as loyal to you as you are to me.

  Man : [in the orb]  Oh, great Mortredd, assistant to Darkstorm, Ruler of Blackdeck, Prince of the Veldt, Baron of Blackmoor, Seytrap of Sangora, major investor in other areas, and landlord of New Valaric!

  Darkstorm : [to him raptly watching the vision]  Mortredd! Pay attention to me!

  Mortredd : Wha? Oh-Oh! Forgive me, Darkstorm, Ruler of Blackdeck, Prince of the Veldt, Baron of Blackmoor, Seytrap of...

  Darkstorm : QUIET!

• Cravex : [in a vision in the orb]  Ah. It looks like my horse is going to win its four-thousandth straight race!... Too bad. Racing seems to have lost its thrill. Why has my favorite pastime lost its thrill?

  Race announcer : Now it's nose to nose! But wait! Cravex's horse loses!

  Cravex : Good. The thrill is back.

• Mortredd : In the past, my lord, it took wizards decades to learn magic.

  Darkstorm : That is because they were idiots. I *know* the magic. I *control* the magic. I *AM* THE MAGIC!

• Darkstorm : Thus ends the Plague of Fire.

  Reekon : Well, that does not leave me looking forward to the *next* plague.

• Darkstorm : Help me!

  Virulina : What do I get for it?

  Darkstorm : Anything! B-But hurry! I CAN'T SWIM!

  Virulina : [laughs]  Then it should be more fun to watch!

  Lexor : I agree. But we need his magic to save *us*!