The IT Crowd (TV Series)

The Work Outing (2007)

Jamie Michie: Philip

Quotes 

• Philip : You like the theatre?

  Moss : Never been. But I've always liked the idea of the theatre. The smell of the grease, the roar of the paint. I've often thought if I hadn't ended up in computers, I would've gone into the theatre.

  Philip : But you've never been to see a play?

  Moss : No.

  Philip : Why not?

  Moss : [shrugs]  Never had the interest.

• Philip : [to Jen]  I don't suppose you'd like to come to the theatre tomorrow night, maybe?

  Moss : I'd be delighted.

  Jen : He means me, Moss.

  Moss : He was looking at me.

  Jen : No he wasn't.

  Moss : I think he was.

  Jen : You're not even in his eyeline.

  Moss : Philip? Who were you talking to? Me or Jen?

• Jen : Oh for God's sake, are you gay? Are you a gay man?

  Philip : No!

  Jen : Are you?

  Philip : No!

  Jen : No, brilliant, good. That's all I wanted to know. I don't mind one way or the other, you know, I just like being clear. I don't want any ambiguity.

  Philip : What on earth made you think I was gay?

  Jen : Well, you know, I can just pull it out of the air. You know, you just brought me to a gay musical, called 'Gay'. You're laughing like mad at every gay reference. Your friends... ALL of whom are gay say hello by tickling you.

  Philip : Jen, what century are you living in? Do you think a man has to be gay to like a gay musical? Can a straight man not have homosexual friends? And since when was tickling gay? I missed that meeting. Jen, Jen, come here

  [hugs her] 

  Jen : I'm sorry, I guess you just threw me when you borrowed our copy of Heat.

  Philip : [bursts into tears]  Oh God, it's true! It's true, I'm gay! I'm a gay man. I tried to hide from it and deny it, but I can't, I can't, I can't. Oh Jen, what am I gonna do? I thought I could make it work between us coz you looked a bit like a man!