Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Robin problem - run it down.
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Robin's a surfboard, she wants to be a turtle.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: I don't know what that means.
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: You wouldn't, you're old.
[stands up and walks around]
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: You see, when a girl reaches a certain age, she's either a surfboard
[rubs his back]
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: or a turtle
[picks at the shirt on his back]
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Snap, snap.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Ah huh. And Robin wants to be...
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Turtle.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Snap, snap.
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Dad.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Elizabeth, I don't want to pry or anything, but... ahhh... has Robin developed anything snap worthy?
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Well, it doesn't matter. Every girl in Robin's class wears one and if you don't you get teased.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: How?
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: They call you a surfboard. Look, major, if you're embarrsed about it...
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: - No! No, no, no
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: No, I mean - it's okay; Robin can suffer 'til mom gets back.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Well, she doesn't have to. I'm, I'm mom tonight.
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: Ah, nice try, but I think Robin needs a different kind of mom.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Oh, yeah? Well, what kind?
Elizabeth Cooper McGillis: One without facial hair.
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: Look, if I - if Robin and I face this thing square on and, ah, talk straight and take action, I think we'll be just fine.
[walks out of the kitchen and to Robin sitting on the living room couch]
Maj. John D. 'Mac' McGillis: So, understand we need a brassiere.
[in a commanding tone; Robin gets a look of shock on her face and runs away]