- Dr. Gregory House: [to Cuddy] You've been overly supportive this entire week. Either you're hormonal or you're guilt-ridden. And it's too early in the pregnancy for this to be hormonal.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm not pregnant!
- Dr. Gregory House: Then what did you do wrong?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He had Addison's. Your last patient. You were right. Gave him one shot of cortisol and he woke up like Rip Van Winkle.
- Dr. Gregory House: [smiles a little and leans over to Cuddy's tummy] Oh, your mommy's in such trouble. She's such a liar! That's why you don't have a daddy!
- [the team has discovered a piece of metal lodged in the back of the patient's neck]
- Dr. Gregory House: The results came back. The lab cannot identify the metal. Said it might not even be terrestrial.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Really?
- Dr. Gregory House: No, you idiot. It's titanium.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [a patient who believes he's abducted by aliens goes missing] House! Clancy's gone missing.
- Dr. Gregory House: Oh, no! Well, you take Alpha Centauri, Foreman can look on Tatooine and Cameron can set up an intergalactic checkpoint. Let's pray he hasn't gone into hyperdrive! We'll never catch him.
- Dr. Robert Chase: Hey, Foreman. Your momma's so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.
- Dr. Gregory House: [while on the computer] Why do they bother putting age restrictions on these things when all you have to do is click "yes, I am 18." Even a 17-year-old could figure that out.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I'm not pregnant.
- Dr. Gregory House: My leg doesn't hurt.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You're in denial.
- Dr. Gregory House: No I'm not!
- [pauses]
- Dr. Gregory House: Oh, you got me!
- Todd: [as his son's having a seizure] I thought you got it all!
- Dr. Robert Chase: Yeah, yell at me. That'll fix the kid.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [after finding out Cuddy lied to House about his last patient] It's completely unethical.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: He was reckless with a patient.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He was right.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: But he didn't know that. He needs at least some glimmer of humility.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Why does he need that? Because other people have that? Why does he need to be like other people?
- Stephanie: You're talking about brain surgery.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm talking about really cool brain surgery.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Is your leg hurting?
- Dr. Gregory House: Is that question relevant?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You're leaning.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're sitting.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: You're evading.
- Dr. Gregory House: My head's hurting.
- Dr. James Wilson: You're just like any other patient. Running away from knowledge that won't make you happy.
- Dr. Gregory House: I'm as happy as a pig in poop.
- Dr. James Wilson: You're scared the ketamine treatment's wearing off. That it was just a... torturous window to the good life.
- Dr. Gregory House: What part of "poop" didn't you understand?
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: What's going on with the leg?
- Dr. Gregory House: First, tell me what's going on with the boobs.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: If you're feeling pain...
- Dr. Gregory House: They're firmer...
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: It's called an underwire. I wanna get a pet scan of your brain.
- Dr. Gregory House: I think it's hormones.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: As long as there's no increased activity in the thalmus...
- Dr. Gregory House: Looks to me like those puppies are going into the dairy business...
- [last lines]
- Dr. Gregory House: Can you believe what Cuddy tried to pull?
- Dr. James Wilson: What now?
- Dr. Gregory House: She lied to me. She cured my patient with my diagnosis, then lied to me about it.
- Dr. James Wilson: That doesn't sound like her.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're right. Does sound like you, though.
- Dr. James Wilson: What exactly did Cuddy tell you?
- Dr. Gregory House: Nothing that your body language isn't telling me right now. So - what was the plan? I'd feel so humbled by missing a case that I'd re-evaluate my entire life, question the nature of truth and goodness and become Cameron?
- Dr. James Wilson: Something like that. More that if we told you the truth, that you'd solved a case based on absolutely no medical proof, you'd think you were God. And... I was worried your wings would melt.
- Dr. Gregory House: God doesn't limp.
- Dr. Gregory House: I won't start lopping off body parts, but it's interesting that you'd give me the green light.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: If you did your morning run, and showered at home, you'd be later than usual.
- Dr. Gregory House: [Turns back and yells] I thought of you in the shower.
- Dr. Gregory House: I have no idea what you meant, but I could smell what The Rock was cookin'.
- [raises his eyebrow]
- Dr. James Wilson: [to House when he comes into work] Ah. Where's the sweat and the B.O.? You've taken such pride bathing us all in your musk.
- Dr. Gregory House: Showered at home.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: And yet you're earlier than usual.
- Dr. Gregory House: Is this an intervention? It's a little late since I'm not using drugs anymore. I am, however, still hooked on phonics.
- Dr. Robert Chase: [about the patient] Kid is a product of an in-vitro fertilization pregnancy. Had all his vaccinations, fractured his right ulna at age 3, chicken pox at age 5...
- Dr. Gregory House: He ever get his feelings hurt? I'll need to know that, too.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I'm going to tell him.
- Dr. Robert Chase: No, you're not.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Then come up with a cunning plan--and fast.
- [walks away]
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: She's not as delightful as she thinks she is.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: He was right.
- Dr. Lisa Cuddy: But he didn't know that. He needs at least some glimmer of humility.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: Why does he need that? Because other people have that? Why does he need to be like other people?
- Dr. Robert Chase: Titanium is used to build nuclear subs. Pieces don't just break off.
- Dr. Gregory House: Tell that to the guys on the Kursk.