Richard Jeni: I actually had a woman ask me, she goes, "Rich, tell the truth. We're just friends standing at a bar. Do men mind wearing the condom?" You ever been drinking and then start lying and you just can't stop? Just on a runaway train of crap you just get going on- "Do you mind wearing the condom?" I'm there with a drink going, "Mind? Ha ha. Clink. Contraire. I prefer the condom. Sometimes I wear five, ten at a time. Why would I mind? There's no difference in the sensation, unless you count the total LACK of any. In fact, I wish I had a condom on right now at the bar. If only I had a piece of disgusting, greasy rubber just STRANGLING the base of my tally-whacker, with enough force to cause my eyes to fly out on springs like somebody in a Warner Bros. cartoon, and rippin' out pubic hair in eight different locations, what a night! I love a tight, rippy feeling in the crotch. It relaxes me. In fact, that's how I fall asleep at night: Get in my favorite chair, put on a fez, get naked, and pull out a monkey wrench. Start tightenin' that baby right around the base of that ol' Johnson, then I like to get out the needle nose pliers and start yankin' out pubic hair in clumps. And I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm not sleepin' like a baby in five minutes."