The Red Green Show (TV Series)

Free Apricots (1998)

Patrick McKenna: Harold Green

Quotes 

• Harold Green : [reading a letter during the Experts segment]  "Dear experts, how are you?"

  Ranger Gord : Well actually, I'm a little upset today, because I lost my favorite pair of sunglasses.

  [unbeknownst to him, he is wearing said sunglasses on top of his head] 

  Ranger Gord : But y'know, it's not the end of the world. No way. That doesn't happen until the year 2015, in November, on a Thursday, and it's after lunch. Okay? So you can't get too upset when you lose something. The thing is, you have to remember to replace the thing that you lost with something new, and the real tricky part is, you have to remember to replace the same thing with the same thing. In other words, you can't replace a pair of sunglasses by buying a waffle iron. Okay? There it is.

  [suddenly, the sunglasses falls over his eyes] 

  Ranger Gord : Excuse me, I think a fuse blew.

  [Red pulls off the sunglasses] 

  Ranger Gord : Oh, no, it's okay, someone's got it.

  [the audience laughs and applauds for a sustained period of time] 

  Harold Green : ...Our letter continues...