The Dirt (2019)

Tony Cavalero: Ozzy Osbourne

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Ozzy Osbourne arrives at the pool, wearing only a bath robe] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : Let's have some fucking fun, huh?

  Nikki Sixx : Morning, Oz.

  [Ozzy approaches an elderly couple] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : Oh, you guys need some drinks, eh? Well, drinks are on me.

  [Ozzy moons the elderly woman with a dollar bill stuck between his buttocks] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : Take it. Go on! Come on! It's like a piggy bank in there. All right, I'll just leave it there for you.

  [the elderly couple leaves in disgust while Ozzy approaches Mötley Crüe] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : Drinks are on me! Drinks are on me!

  Tommy Lee : Morning, Oz.

  Ozzy Osbourne : Hey.

  Nikki Sixx : I'll take a refill.

  [Ozzy flashes the band] 

  Tommy Lee : Gross!

  [Ozzy climbs the lifeguard chair] 

  Nikki Sixx : I gotta hand it to you, Oz. All these years, and you're still keeping up with us kids.

  Ozzy Osbourne : Keeping up with them? I've fucking lapped you, mate! Now come here and have a talk with your Uncle Oz. Come on. Come on.

  [the band approaches Ozzy] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : Now, this is your first real tour, right? I want you to be careful. Have fun, but know when to say when. 'Cause a life full of booze, drugs, and unprotected sex is only gonna fuck you up, man. I mean, you take it too far, and you'll go fucking mad!

  [Ozzy jumps off the lifeguard chair] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : And give me a straw. I fancy a bump.

  Nikki Sixx : Oh, man.

  Tommy Lee : All right, we're all out of blow, dude.

  Vince Neil : Man, we're out.

  Ozzy Osbourne : I said I want a bump.

  [looking at Tommy] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : Straw, please.

  [Tommy gives Ozzy his whiskey straw] 

  Tommy Lee : Okay.

  [Ozzy smiles, then gets down and snorts a line of ants with the straw] 

  Nikki Sixx : Oh, fuck.

  [Ozzy gets up] 

  Ozzy Osbourne : You think you're ready for that, man? Do ya? Huh? Do you think you're ready for that?

  [Ozzy starts urinating on the pool floor] 

  Tommy Lee : [waving at the other guests]  Sorry.

  Ozzy Osbourne : Everybody else has a drink.

  [Ozzy gets down to lick his urine, scaring off the other guests] 

  Tommy Lee : You're a god, dude.

  Nikki Sixx : Crazy fucker. Watch this.

  [Nikki urinates on the pool floor, but before he gets down, Ozzy shoves him away and licks Nikki's urine off] 

  Tommy Lee : I can't unsee that!