- A couple begin to experience some unusual activity after bringing their lost nieces and nephew home. With the help of home-surveillance cameras, they learn they're being stalked by a nefarious demon.
- Happily-married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their lost nieces and nephew home. But when the chaos expands into Jody's job as a ballet dancer and Dan's career as an Ape researcher, they realize their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of a psychic and the aid of numerous surveillance cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it's too late.—Dimension Films
- After bringing there two missing niece and nephew home that were found in the woods after many years, Jody, a ballet dancer, and Dan, an ape researcher, begin to experience strange events in their new home. With the help of some bizarre characters, Jody and Dan must find out what is causing these supernatural happenings.—Dimension Films
- Ballet dancer Jody (Ashley Tisdale) and ape researcher Dan have just become the proud parents of a bouncing baby boy when the spooky happenings in their home start causing problems in the workplace as well. With a mischievous demon making their lives unbearable, the miserable couple plant cameras in every corner of their house, and recruit some supernatural experts to help evict the diabolical imp..
- In "Scary Movie 5," a couple adopts their nephew and nieces after a tragic accident. Soon, strange occurrences begin to plague their home, including explainable noises, moving objects, and terrifying visions. They install security cameras to investigate and discover they are being targeted by a malevolent demon. The couple must fight to protect themselves and their children from the supernatural entity before it's too late.—Anonymous
- Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan get together to make a sex tape with over 20 cameras beside Charlie's bed. Charlie insists that he is a one-woman kind of person, while Lindsay says that she values her privacy, and she keeps her life away from social media. Charlie has a whole wall shelf full of videos of his past "conquests". Lindsay has a court hearing about her rash driving. Charlie asks Lindsay not to drive as he is a pedestrian.
The time-lapsed tape fast forwards through the two doing all sorts of bedroom antics, including gymnastics, riding a horse, and having clowns jump in under the sheets. Charlie is pulled into the air by a paranormal force and thrown against walls, shelves, and doors until he lands on the bed again. Lindsay is frightened so she decides to go home when she flies into the air as well; she becomes possessed and throws him into the camera and kills him. The text explains that Charlie's body was found that day, but he didn't stop partying until days later, and that his three kids were found missing, Lohan was arrested, again, and a reward was put out for the missing children.
The large award declared offered for the rescue of Charlie's kids drew the attention of police, private detectives, and Red Cross volunteers.
Several months later, Ja'Marcus (Snoop Dogg) and D'Andre (Mac Miller) are walking in the Humboldt County woods in search of cannabis plants to steal. They were discussing the lack of help from Obamacare in situations where shampoo gets into a person's penis while showering. After stealing one and fleeing, they take shelter in a cabin in the woods. Upon entering they see three strange creatures (feral kids who cannot speak English and have wild manners), later confirmed to be Charlie's children, and turn them in for the reward.
Ja'Marcus decides to buy a yacht, and fill it with cash, women and a shark. The feral children are placed in isolation at a child development research center for a few months until they are deemed well enough to be returned to familial custody. The kids are Kathy (Gracie Whitton), Lily (Ava Kolker) and a baby Aidan. To survive, the kids created an imaginary guardian whom they called Mama.
When Charlie's brother, Dan Sanders (Simon Rex) and his wife Jody (Ashley Tisdale) come to collect them, they are told they can have them if they agree to stay in a large suburban middle-class home fitted with security cameras. Jody plays in a punk rock band, stays out all night and sleeps with a different man every night. But that is all part of her persona, as she has blonde hair, and the tattoos are just sleeves.
Jody is reluctant to take the kids at first but soon adjusts to having them. In an attempt to bond with their new children, Jody auditions for a ballet performance, Swan Lake, and is cast in the lead role as the Swan Queen.
Meanwhile, a continuing pattern of bizarre paranormal activity in their new home makes them investigate further. They eventually learn from the children that the attacks on their home are by "Mama", the mother of the children, who is under a curse and is trying to get them back so she can sacrifice both herself and the children. Maria (Lidia Porto), the couple's Hispanic live-in maid, is frightened and keeps experimenting with various rituals, Catholic and otherwise, to ward off the evil spirits in the house.
During the day, Dan is frustrated with the modest progress of his test subjects at a primate intelligence research facility; ironically, Dan is not bright enough to realize that one of the chimpanzees, Caesar (Christopher Antonucci), is now actually much smarter than him. Dan is working on the I-13 intelligence drug, which he hopes to bring to the market and is currently testing it on primates and reality wives.
One night, the pool drain invites others to a party. In the morning, Maria sees the mess in the pool and does more rituals, causing Dan to fire her. Because Dan doesn't understand her Spanish, their fighting leads to the lab releasing all of the apes.
Jody and Dan, with the help of Jody's close friend Kendra (Erica Ash), must quickly find a way to lift the curse and save their family. Along the way, they seek the assistance of psychic Blaine Fulda (Katt Williams), who turns out to be a complete fraud, and a dream extractor named Dom Kolb (Ben Cornish), who helps them understand that the solution to their problems lies in the mysterious Book of the Dead.
However, Jody and Kendra fail to see what the book is capable of, oblivious to five friends continuously becoming possessed and reviving in the cabin. They wreak havoc when either of the two read the two passages of the book; one that unleashes demons, "Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto", and the other that revives them from possession. When "Mama" takes the children to a cliff to sacrifice them, Jody fails to lift the curse with the book but does manage to knock the evil spirit into Ja'Marcus and D'Andre's pool containing a live shark, which then devours her.
Realizing the love for her adopted children is all she needs in life, Jody gives the part of the Swan Queen to Kendra, who performs the dance in the style to that of a stripper. The performance is heavily applauded by an audience that includes Jody, Dan, the children, and Madea (Lewis Thompson). The story's narrator is revealed to be Caesar, who then informs the audience that the humans should enjoy as much time they had on earth and says that apes will one day take over the world.
Charlie wakes up, with Dom Kolb sitting beside him, from a dream extraction (in which the dream was the whole movie). After Kolb informs that Charlie will be sleeping with Lindsay Lohan, a car crashes into the room, killing Charlie. Revealing Lindsay as the driver, she gets out of the car, says to Kolb "You were driving" and throws him the keys, blaming the accident on him.
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