- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: [Doug knocks on Buddy's door] Don't come in.
- [He enters the room to see Buddy lying in bed, faking sick to get out of going to Timmy's christening]
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: I'm probably contagious. You might catch something.
- Doug Lawrence: I don't know about contagious, but you might very well catch something.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: Dad, I feel so peculiar.
- Doug Lawrence: You look fine to me.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: [feeling her forehead] I think I have a fever.
- Doug Lawrence: Think again. Your mother says you don't.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: She's being very unreasonable. Daddy...
- Doug Lawrence: Oh, now, don't "daddy" me, either. I'm gonna get dressed. And if you know what's good for you, you get up right now and do the same.
- [Buddy angrily crosses her arms, as Doug leaves the room]
- Kate Lawrence: [reads a note on the table] "Mrs. Maitland called. See me" I give up. Who's me?
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: Me.
- Kate Lawrence: I'm seeing you. What's up?
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: Please tell your mother that Jeffrey Sr. and I are looking forward to seeing her at 7:30 tomorrow evening and also, Letitia, dear, would you please say that the Wilsons just got back from Sardenia and will be able to come to the party, after all?
- Doug Lawrence: That brings it up to twenty.
- Kate Lawrence: Twenty-two. There's a married daughter. Oh, god, there's not going to be enough to eat. I was going to have quiche. Doug, do you remember that English couple that catered the Freeman's cocktail party?
- Doug Lawrence: Caterers? Kate, slow down. Jeffrey Maitland isn't paying for this, I am. I'll get Mrs. Handley.
- Kate Lawrence: Mrs. Handley? The only reason she works for us is because she likes the lunches I've fixed for her.
- Willie Lawrence: Do you remember when Charlie and Grace Harmsworth had their baby christened? We went out into a big field and the guests provided the food. I remember I brought Harib bread and a bean and onion salad, and somebody else brought cous-cous.
- Doug Lawrence: Kate, call the caterers.
- James Lawrence: Looking forward to the big event.
- Kate Lawrence: I wish I were. Doug, is there such a thing as a legal action for mental cruelty? Extreme mental cruelty?
- James Lawrence: Of course, there is. Just the other day, I went down to the courthouse. I was curious about the procedure for certain divorce cases.
- Doug Lawrence: Dad...
- James Lawrence: You see, the husband had been involved in a prior action. Before the marriage, she was living with a sculptor who covered him with plaster.
- Doug Lawrence: Dad, please. What is it, Kate?
- Kate Lawrence: It's Carl's Cut-Rate Cleaners. I want you to sue them. I want you to get them for it and I'd appreciate it if you went upstairs and deal with Buddy. If I do, I'm afraid I'll resort to violence.
- Doug Lawrence: What are you talking about?
- Kate Lawrence: She's trying to drive me crazy. She won't get out of bed. She says she's sick and she can't be expected to get up in her condition.
- James Lawrence: She got a fever?
- Kate Lawrence: Not a hint. Oh, Doug, please go up to her. I'm serious. If I do, I'm afraid I'll lose my temper or burst into tears. I'd rather not do either.
- Kate Lawrence: [holds up a box containing a dress for Buddy] Here's something for you to wear on Saturday. It's called a dress.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: Well, thanks, Mom, but I already had something else picked out to wear and it wasn't a dress.
- [sets the box on the couch]
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: But it doesn't matter now, anyway.
- Doug Lawrence: [firmly] Buddy, don't be difficult.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: Well, I'm not, Dad. Audrey Pfeiffer called before. Her family's going skiing for the weekend and I'm gonna go with them. I didn't think you'd mind.
- Kate Lawrence: We DO mind and you're not going. Go and call Audrey.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: [protests] Mom...
- Doug Lawrence: Buddy, do as your mother says!
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: Oh, what difference does it make? It's just a dumb old christening. Chub-O won't even know I'm there.
- Kate Lawrence: He'll know in years to come when he looks at the photographs and his name's not Chub-O. Call Audrey, now.
- Letitia 'Buddy' Lawrence: [pouts and starts up the stairs] Dumb baby!
- Doug Lawrence: [stands up] I won't have her behaving that way.
- Kate Lawrence: She IS being a pain.
- Willie Lawrence: She's been acting cuckoo, for days.
- Doug Lawrence: Well, I don't like it.