- [first lines]
- Tiffany Malloy: Guys! Look what I found when I was planting the new hydrangea bushes. It's an old box. I wonder what's in it?
- Jack Malloy: Well, if that was buried in our backyard, there's a good chance it's pieces of Grandma.
- Ross Malloy: It can't be anything valuable. We pretty much looted the corpse.
- Mr. Floppy: [to the uncharacteristically-subservient Old West version of Tiffany] Just keep living for my pleasure, baby!
- [to the camera:]
- Mr. Floppy: Guys, it can still be like that. Take charge! Let them know early their opinions mean *nothing!* The world was once ours. We can take it back again. Let them carry their own purses. Let them get their own tampons. And don't go to Lamaze. They can breathe on their own, dammit! Word from the Flopster!