- Max Weinberg 7: [after Conan rants about the lack of transition between his monologue jokes] Next joke!
- Animal Expert: [about a sloth that has latched on to Conan's neck] He's looking for a good spot because they only defecate about once a week.
- Conan O'Brien: Well, you've timed this perfectly then.
- Animal Expert: [showing Conan the sloth's ears] Look at his ears though. It almost makes him look like he's a real animal.
- Conan O'Brien: ...He is a real animal.
- Animal Expert: [after Conan inquires about how to pet the porcupine] You gotta be careful. She doesn't like it from behind.