- Laura Petrie: [after kissing Rob] Darling, are you all right?
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, I'm just fine. Why do you ask?
- Laura Petrie: Well, I know it sounds kind of silly, but, uh... your lips were very cold.
- Rob Petrie: [after nervously feeling his own lips] My lips are regular lip temperature. It may be your lips are running a fever.
- Sally Rogers: Rob, if she were planning a surprise party, she certainly wouldn't let you hear her inviting everybody.
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, and she wouldn't have you invitin' Mel.
- Rob Petrie: No, that's just exactly what she WOULD do. You see, what she's doing, in chess, is called the double-reverse half-truth check-your-mate gamble. I'm gonna play right along with her and let her check her mate, that's all.
- Sally Rogers: Well, you may be right, Sebastian, but I think she's employing the old I-planned-to-give-him-a-surprise-party-but-the-rat-found-out-about-it-so-I-changed-my-plans bit.
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, I don't know which one of you guys is right, but there's a free meal in there some place and I'M GOIN'.
- Mel Cooley: Did you want to see me Rob? I've only got a second.
- Buddy Sorrell: A second with you is like a year with an ugly mob.
- [Rob confesses he figured out Laura's plan for a surprise party]
- Laura Petrie: You only knew what I wanted you to know.
- Rob Petrie: And how's that?
- Laura Petrie: Well, I let you know I was planning a surprise birthday party, and my idea was to make it look like no one could come, and then we'd go to a restaurant and have dinner.
- Rob Petrie: That's right, and everybody would come to the restaurant... to the dinner party and yell surprise. Honey, I hate to tell you but I knew that was your plan all along.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, have I got another birthday coming up here again?
- Laura Petrie: Why yes. Yes you do, come to think of it.
- Rob Petrie: What day is it?
- Laura Petrie: Gee darling, I'm really not sure.
- Ritchie Petrie: You have a red circle around Saturday on the calendar and it says Rob's birthday. Is that what it is?
- Sally Rogers: Did you know that Rob is having a birthday this weekend?
- Buddy Sorrell: Seems to me like he just had a birthday about a year ago same time.
- Sally Rogers: Most people do.
- Buddy Sorrell: Oh yeah, so how come you haven't had a birthday since...
- Sally Rogers: It's because I only announce them once every other year