- Ren: Look at you, man! You're a full-grown cat still watching cartoons! Why, you're three-years-old! Do you know what that is in human years?
- Ren: [Ren places his pillow on the couch, the pillow deflates slightly and forms a crude effigy of Stimpy] Goodnight Stimpy.
- [Screams]
- Ren: You're haunting me!
- The Pillow: [the pillow comes to life, looks at the camera and says in an ethereal voice] He's talking to pillows kids.
- Ren: Oh, listen to me, man. I'm your friend. Don't you know cartoons will ruin your mind? Look what it's done to your brain!
- [having heard about a contest where the winner appears on "The Muddy Mudskipper Show," Stimpy writes a poem about Gritty Kitty Litter, the show's chief sponsor]
- Stimpy: [writing] Gritty Kitty ain't so pretty, but it's really thick / It fits my cat box oh, so snug, it always does the trick / I love to pour it on my toe, and squish, and squish, and squish / It ne'er offends my tender nose like a smelly fish / Its texture is a joy to me, it's just as smooth as silk / It makes my little whiskers twitch...
- Ren: [mockingly] It stays crunchy, even in milk.
- Stimpy: [gasps excitedly then continues writing] It stays crunchy, even in milk / I may not be the President, I may not be the Pope / But as long as I have Gritty Kitty,
- [blinks happily]
- Stimpy: I shall never mope.
- Ren: [after finishing writing a poem for the "Muddy Mudskipper Show", Stimpy walks to the mailbox to mail his letter followed by Ren] Where are you going? I tell you these contests are a scam; nobody ever wins them! Don't be a sucker.
- Stimpy: [whines] But I wanted to meet Muddy Mudskipper...
- Ren: Oh, you idiot! He's just a cartoon character. Not real. Not flesh and blood like WE! I'm telling you, cartoons aren't real. They're... they're, eh... they're... puppets!
- Stimpy: [in fright] EEEHH!