- DCI Tom Barnaby: [as Jones stands by their car sopping wet after being pushed into a pond] What are you waiting for?
- DC Ben Jones: A drying wind.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [about the dinner party] What are you giving them?
- Joyce Barnaby: Haven't decided yet. Osso buco and sweetbreads perhaps.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: What, bones and offal? Doesn't George get enough of that at work?
- DC Ben Jones: Do you think there was some tension between Mr and Mrs Barker?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Oh, just a bit. She'd been crying.
- DC Ben Jones: How could you tell?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: I've been married a long time, Jones.
- DC Ben Jones: [going through the victims closet] Did Simpson have a girlfriend, sir?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: I've got no idea, why?
- DC Ben Jones: Well, it's either that, or, uh...
- DC Ben Jones: [take out women's clothes] He was a cross-dresser.
- DC Ben Jones: [holds clothes in front of himself] What do you think?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [after discovering a woman's negligee in the dead man's closet] Looks as if our Mr Simpson had a more complicated life than anyone imagined!
- [first lines]
- Connor Simpson: [answering his mobile] Hello.
- Connor Simpson: Where are you? I've been waiting.
- Connor Simpson: Wh-why not sa-say...
- Connor Simpson: OK. OK, all right. Call me later when you get the chance.
- DC Ben Jones: It's as if he didn't exist before he moved to Midsomer Worthy.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: And now someone burgles the dead man's cottage.
- DC Ben Jones: Looking for what?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Every man keeps something of his past, Jones.