- Homer Simpson: [after hitting a deer statue] D'oh!
- Lisa Simpson: A deer!
- Marge Simpson: A female deer!
- Homer: Bart, with 10,000 dollars we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things, like... love!
- Bart: [protesting outside the radio station] I want my elephant! I want my elephant!
- Abraham Simpson: They're playing that elephant song again.
- Jasper Beardley: I love that. Reminds me of elephants.
- Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how drunk you get.
- Black KBBL Co-host: Don't praise the machine.
- [phone rings]
- Chief Wiggum: Heh, yeah, right, lady: An elephant ran through your front yard. Okay.
- [rings again]
- Chief Wiggum: Wiggum... Yeah, right, mister, mm-hmm. An elephant just knocked over your mailbox. Okay.
- [rings again]
- Chief Wiggum: Wiggum... Yeah, right, buddy, liquor store robbery, officer down. Sure. And I'm Edward G. Robinson.
- [Bill Clinton is playing the saxophone in a marching parade]
- Moe: Hey Clinton, get back to work.
- Bill Clinton: Make me.
- Mr. Blackheart: Well, little girl, I've had lots of jobs in my day: whale-hunter, seal-clubber, president of the Fox network. And yes, like most people, I've dealt a little ivory.
- [Stampy has just escaped and is running through the Flanders' backyard]
- Ned Flanders: It's the four elephants of the apocalypse!
- Maude Flanders: That's horsemen, Ned.
- Ned Flanders: Well, getting warmer.