Eric Carte: Richard

Quotes 

• Fat Hilary : And their daughter has a little boy called Kenzo.

  Richard : Strange name. What does his father do?

  Ben Harper : Impregnates college students and scarpers!

• Alfie Butts : Look, erm, Mrs Harper, if it's OK with you I think I'll take some soup to the cyclists.

  Ben Harper : Cyc...? You will... you will not feed those Lycra-clad vermin!

  Richard : You don't like cyclists, Ben?

  Ben Harper : Oh, love them - under the wheels of a juggernaut!

• Richard : You!

  Ben Harper : You! You gave me a V-sign!

  Richard : Well, there's plenty more where that came from! What do you think you were playing at?

  Ben Harper : I was observing the rules of the Highway Code, which is more than bloody cyclists ever do!

  Richard : I have a mind to smack you in the mouth!

  Ben Harper : Oh, really? Come on! Come on! Try! I'm a dentist - I can fix my own teeth!