- Rab C. Nesbitt: I mean I Had tae start drinkin again didn't I?
- Doctor: Oh really, how so?
- Rab C. Nesbitt: Aw, It was her. She said foreplay wusny worth a toss since ma hon stopped shakin!
- Mary Nesbitt: Listen, yer big boy's noo. I've git somethin terrible tae tell yaes. Yer da found oot the day, that unless he gies in thae drink, he's only got a year left tae live.
- Burney Nesbitt: I see, I see. So what's this somethin terrible?
- [Rab has been told that he has only a year to live if he doesn't stop drinking. He's shared this with his drinking pals who include Andra and Dodie. This news has scared Jamesie into wanting to give up the drink]
- Rab C. Nesbitt: Rab, you and me, we go back a longs ways together.
- Jamesie Cotter: Aye, we dae, we dae, we dae, aye...
- Jamesie Cotter: We started goin in tae pubs together, then we went on tae secondary school.
- Rab C. Nesbitt: Aye, what's the point, what's the point...!
- Jamesie Cotter: The point, yae big wet slopbledger is - if you're on yer way oot with yer liver like an insole, then so are we! Cos we huv matched you pint for pint for the last 25 years!
- Andra: BASTARD!