Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Iron Age Remains (1992)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : I wish Rose would settle down and find a husband. One of her own, I mean, not somebody else's.

• Hyacinth : Mind the pothole in the road!

  Richard : Minding the pot'ole.

• Hyacinth : [as they are driving back home]  How could that hiker have the impertinence to think I was talking to a tree? He didn't believe you were up there at all! Why didn't you answer?

  Richard : I must have been totally engrossed in looking for Iron Age remains.

• Hyacinth : Mind the horse.

  Richard Bucket : It's in the field.

• Richard : I like your Daisy. She's a very generous, warm soul.

  Hyacinth : I like my Daisy. I'm just not particularly fond of her cracked mugs.

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : [opening the door just as the postman is about to slip a letter through]  Aaaaah! What have you got?

  The Postman : Heart failure.

  [hands her the letter] 

  Hyacinth : Well, this can't be it. This is a bill; this isn't it. It *should* be on stiff white card from the Lord Chamberlain's Office.

  The Postman : What should?

  Hyacinth : Our invitation. To the Royal Garden Party. My husband has recently retired after a lifetime of devoted service to the community. Now, that means an invitation to the Royal Garden Party; bound to.

  The Postman : Oh, bound to.

  Hyacinth : Mr. Hislop at number 43 went to the Royal Garden Party last year, and he only drives a C registration.

  [the postman starts off] 

  Hyacinth : Are you sure there's nothing else in your bag?

  The Postman : Not for this address, Mrs. Bu... Bouquet.

  Hyacinth : Well, that's very strange. It must be lying about somewhere, lost in the depths of your sorting office.

  The Postman : Your husband retired, has he?

  Hyacinth : Mm-hmm.

  The Postman : Wow! If anybody deserves a garden party!

  Hyacinth : Exactly.

• Hyacinth : [looking for iron age remains and spotting a lump]  It could be a Neanderthal barrow, Dear. It says in the guide book they had barrows. I expect they wheeled rocks about and things.

• Hyacinth : Do sit down, Elizabeth.

  Elizabeth : Which chair, Hyacinth?

  Hyacinth : Mmh?

  Elizabeth : I insist you point me to a chair.

  Hyacinth : [laughs]  Good heavens, Elizabeth, sit where you like, dear.

  [Elizabeth sits on the sofa] 

  Hyacinth : Except there. I thought I might like to sit there.

• Hyacinth : [Richard is up a tree]  Can you see anything now?

  Richard : I daren't look!

  Hyacinth : Come along, Richard! Use your eyes!

  Richard : I daren't even open them! I don't like heights!

  Hyacinth : [to herself]  It's at times like these I miss my Sheridan...

  Richard : When did HE ever climb a tree?

  Hyacinth : He would for his mummy, dear! Richard, you're not all that high, dear!

  Richard : That's not the impression you get from up here!