- Voiceover: Coming, this summer! It's the digitally enhanced re-release of the very first pilot episode of South Park! Yes, the classic, rough, hand-made first episode is getting a make-over for 2002! The simple, funny aliens are now super badass and cool! Flying saucer? No longer cheap construction paper, but a 4.0 megapixel constructed through a masterpiece of technology! Everything's new! New is better!
- Trey Parker: When we first made South Park, we didn't wanna use construction paper. We just had to because it was cheap.
- Matt Stone: And now with new technology we can finally remaster South Park, make it look sharp, clean and focused.
- Trey Parker: Expensive.
- Voiceover: Yes, all the charm of a simple little cartoon will melt before your eyes as it is replaced by newer and more standardized animation!
- Trey Parker: For instance, in the scene at the bus stop, we always meant to have Imperial walkers and giant dewback lizards in the background, but simply couldn't afford it.
- Voiceover: Get this special enhanced version quick, because another enhanced version will likely be coming out for 2003!
- Stan Marsh: It's just that, you know, he killed 23 babies.
- Man in crowd: Well, yeah, but it was in self defense.
- Crowd: Yeah!
- Cartman: He killed 23 babies in self defense?
- Skeeter: Hat was attacked maliciously and unprovoked by a gang of babies in West Town Park. When that many babies get together, they can be like piranha.