Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Christmas Present (2000)

Patricia Heaton: Debra Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marie Barone : What is a DVD player? Is it for pornography?

  Debra Barone : Yes, Marie, I bought Ray a porn machine!

  Marie Barone : I don't like that, Debra.

• Ray Barone : You deserve to have fun too.

  Debra Barone : Yeah, okay. When the kids go to college, I'll see a movie.

  Ray Barone : You don't have to wait. You want to go to the movies? Go. Go today if you want.

  Debra Barone : Yeah, I'm gonna go on Christmas.

  Ray Barone : Jewish people do. All right then, you go this weekend.

  Debra Barone : Yeah, like that'll happen.

  Ray Barone : I'm saying it'll happen. Go to the movies! Come on. I'll take care of the kids, I'll take care of everything. Come on, it'll make me feel better. I don't want to get a DVD player and golf and niceness and you get pots. Come on, go to the movies.

  Debra Barone : Thanks anyway, honey.

  Ray Barone : Come on, it's like you don't even want to go to the movies.

  Debra Barone : It's okay.

  Ray Barone : Wait a minute. You want to *not* go to the movies.

  Debra Barone : What?

  Ray Barone : Yeah, that's right. Because then if you go to the movies, you don't get to say "I never get to go to the movies."

  Debra Barone : When do I say that?

  Ray Barone : You say that all the time. "I never get to do anything." You love that. You're like one of those... what do you call them?

  Debra Barone : A martyr?

  Ray Barone : Yes!

  Debra Barone : I'm not a martyr.

  Ray Barone : Then how come I don't help out around here?

  Debra Barone : How come you don't help out around here?

  Ray Barone : Because you don't want me to! 'Cause you want to do it all because then you can feel superior!

  Debra Barone : You...

  [she pauses] 

  Ray Barone : You stammer because you know I speak true.

  Debra Barone : Do you know how close you are to the end of your life?

  Ray Barone : I'm not scared. I'm not scared because I'm onto something here. Hmm? Like the DVD player. Why? Why? Why, after years of complaining that all I do is lay around and watch television would you buy me a device that is designed to make the television watching experience even better? We must ask ourselves why?

  Debra Barone : You're right. Why the hell would I buy you a DVD player?

  Ray Barone : You have problems.

  Debra Barone : I do! What is wrong with me?

  Ray Barone : I do not know.

  Debra Barone : I should make you help me out more around here.

  Ray Barone : Well, it's not like I have nothing to do.

  Debra Barone : No, really, you know? I work too hard. I don't need to be a martyr.

  Ray Barone : I don't think you want to give it up cold turkey.

  Debra Barone : You know what? I've been up since 5:00. I'm gonna go take a nap.

  Ray Barone : Okay, but what about the Christmas dinner?

  Debra Barone : Your mom can make it. She wants to anyway. Listen, would you mind straightening up the living room? And make sure the kids get washed and dressed, okay? Thanks, that'd help me a lot.

  Ray Barone : I'll do all those things, but then I get to golf, right?

  Debra Barone : No, I don't think so. Yeah, but I mean, how could I not think of myself as a martyr if I'm stuck at home with the kids while you're golfing with your buddies?

  Ray Barone : Yeah, about martyrs, a lot of them became saints.

  Debra Barone : No, you're right. And thank you, 'cause you really helped me.