- Kahn: [watching the Hills burn a toilet paper bonfire] Hey, hillbilly! Those aren't logs, you know - they for wipey-wipey!
- Hank Hill: The year 2000 happens only once in the history of man, and we're darn lucky to see it happen. Peggy, do you remember how excited you were when you rolled over the odometer in your Buick? Well, imagine if the whole world had been in that car with you.
- [Hank and Peggy are in bed while the Kaypro printer makes loud noise down the hall]
- Hank Hill: Peggy, why don't you take off that nasal strip? Maybe your snoring will drown out the sound of that dang printer.
- Peggy Hill: Do not blame me. Blame the freakin' millennium!
- Boomhauer: Tell you what, man, talkin 'bout that ol' Y2K, man, mainframe gonna come crashin' down, that grid, man, dang ol' Apocalypse Now, man, dang ol' "The horror! The horror!"
- Dale Gribble: The real problem will be obtaining fresh meat. That's why I've procured a breeding pair of gerbils.
- Nancy Hicks Gribble: Dale, honey, one of those is a hamster.
- Dale Gribble: Laugh now, lady. After a month of eating cockroaches, you will be begging for gerbster.
- Peggy Hill: [printing excessively on her Kaypro] I need hard copies! I could lose everything, Hank. Seven-letter Boggle words, my Peggy Hill self-abridged Thesaurus, musings, ponderings on their way to being musings -- "rap music, wrapping paper?" I know I can crack that nut.
- Hank Hill: Well, I hope you took your heart pills, this morning, Mr. Strickland 'cause it looks like it's going to be a rough one.
- Buck Strickland: No, not me, Hank. There's a lynch mob out there--they gone Y2-kooky. I'm outta here.
- Hank Hill: Sir, have you forgotten the gasser's creed? "I promise to dispense..."
- Buck Strickland: No-no-no, I don't have time for that. Debbie and me going out to the desert to ride out the apocalypse. I'll be back in two weeks.