The Simpsons (TV Series)
HOMR (2001)
Yeardley Smith: Lisa Simpson
Quotes
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Marge : Oh, Homer, where have you been?
Homer : I just underwent a procedure to increase my IQ 50 points.
Marge : Really?
Homer : And they gave me this spiffy nerd ensemble, too.
Marge : Do you feel smarter?
Homer : Is the capital of North Dakota Bismarck?
Lisa : [the family all looks to her] It is.
Bart Simpson : I don't believe it. Say something else smart.
Homer : Dr. Joyce Brothers may be well-known, but her psychological credentials are highly suspect.
Lisa : [the family all looks to her again] It's true!
Homer : Now, who's up for a trip to the library tomorrow? Notice I no longer say "liberry" or "tomorry".
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Lisa Simpson : [learning Homer re-inserted a crayon into his brain] Dad, how could you? We were connecting in such a meaningful way.
Homer Simpson : We were what what in the what what?
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Homer : Family meeting. Family meeting.
[the rest of the family runs into the dining room and quickly takes their seats]
Homer : Okay, people, let's keep this short. We all want to get home to our families.
[all laugh]
Homer : All right, first item: I lost our life savings in the stock market. Now, let's move on to the real issue: Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup.
Lisa : Well, maybe if Mom didn't make such dry waffles. There, I said it.
Marge : Well, maybe if you ate some meat, you'd have a natural lubricant.
[gasps and turns to Homer]
Marge : You lost all our money?
Homer : Point of order - I didn't lose ALL the money. There was enough left for this cowbell.
[rings it softly and the bell breaks apart in his hands]
Homer : Damn you, eBay!
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Lisa : [reading a note from Homer] "Lisa, I'm taking the coward's way out. But before I do, I just want you to know being smart made me appreciate how amazing you really are."