- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: That sounds very dangerous. Someone could get killed.
- [pointing]
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Fry, Leela, Bender...
- Bender: [shaking fist] Damn you, old man!
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Now remember Kif, the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in.
- Kif Kroker: Well, sir, I'm a little nervous about meeting her parents.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Of course you are. You're meek and uninteresting.
- Leo Wong: Anyway, make yourselves at home.
- [Dr. Zoidberg comes downstairs wearing a bathrobe]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Don't mind if I already did. By the way, do you have any more of this Dom Perignon bubble bath? There was only enough to fill the tub halfway.
- [the group is trying to get a herd of Buggalo out of a volcano]
- Lt. Kif Kroker: Ok, the dynamite's in place.
- Amy Wong: Are you sure there's no other way to get the Buggalo out?
- Turanga Leela: Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.
- Amy Wong: Well, actually...
- Bender: Too late, this is more fun.
- [He detonates it]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Don't be such a chicken, Kif. Teenagers smoke, and they seem pretty on-the-ball.
- Turanga Leela: Okay, my turn to tell a ghost story. Once, there was this woman driving...
- Fry: Hook on the hand!
- Lt. Kif Kroker: Okay, I've got one. This family...
- Fry: Man in the attic!
- Turanga Leela: Fine, Mister Know-It-All-About-Something-Finally. You tell a story.
- Fry: With pleasure. Once, not far from here, four people set out on a cattle drive...
- Bender: Robot gets bored and kills Fry with a hammer! I'm sorry. Go on.
- Singing Wind: You are free to go. Sorry about all the rustling and kidnapping.
- Turanga Leela: But what about your sacred land?
- Singing Wind: Land, schmand. We don't wanna live on this planet. It's a dump. We buy new planet and act like it's sacred. With cash like this, who's going to argue? Nobody, that's who.
- Singing Wind: We always thought bead was worthless. We assumed our ancestors were cheated because they not have concept of ownership.
- Bender: So we can have the diamond?
- Singing Wind: No, we do have concept of ownership.
- Inez Wong: Everyone okay? No one considering lawsuit?
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hmm, I might have mental anguish.
- Leo Wong: I'll have you know I'm friends with every judge in planet.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I'm okay, then.
- Bender: ...And even though the computer was off and unplugged, an image stayed on the screen. It was... the Windows logo!
- Turanga Leela: Pfft! That's not scary.
- Bender: It is if you're a laser printer.
- [the group is trying to get a herd of Buggalo out of a volcano]
- Lt. Kif Kroker: Ok the dynamite's in place.
- Amy Wong: Are you sure there's no other way to get the Buggalo out?
- Turanga Leela: Not unless your parents have thousands of helicopters at their disposal.
- Amy Wong: Well actually...
- Bender Bending Rodriguez: Too late this is more fun
- [He detonates it]
- Dr. Zoidberg: Captain Brannigan, you're always welcome here at Rancho Zoidberg.
- Dr. Zoidberg: [having enough of him, the Wongs kick Zoidberg out] Eee! Money doesn't make good people, no, siree!