- Hermes Conrad: It looks like toxic waste. And it smells like toxic waste.
- Fry: What does it taste like?
- Hermes Conrad: Delicious fig pudding. Oh, that's good. But a distinct aftertaste of toxic waste.
- Fry: Isn't there anything more you can tell me?
- Warden Vogel: Nothing that wouldn't be a waste of your time.
- Fry: That is impossible, because my time is worthless.
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! You all know the orphanarium where Leela grew up?
- Fry: Sure. We talk about it all the time.
- Leela: Really?
- Fry: No. Burn!
- Fry: Isn't that the machine that makes noses?
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: It can do other things. Why shouldn't it?
- Leela: Mr Vogel?, Remember me ?
- Warden Vogel: Leela., You're worthless and no one will ever love you.
- [both laughing and hugging]
- Leela: You used to say that all the time.
- Warden Vogel: Those were happier days.
- Hooded Figure #1: Keep quiet so she doesn't hear us.
- Hooded Figure #2: What's there to talk about?
- Hermes Conrad: I order you to dispose of that toxic waste properly or bribe me. Either way, it'll cost you $500.
- Bender: 500 real dollars? That's an outrage! Professor, I can take care of that waste for only $499 and one hundred cents.
- Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth: Hmm, I know that's a rip, but I'll pay for the convenience.
- Warden Vogel: I'll never forget the night that cute little alien baby was abandoned on our doorstep, because I have a photographic memory, and I remember every night.
- Nina: [puts on an eyepatch] Look at me! I'm Leela!
- Albert: [covers both eyes] Nuh-uh, 'cause I'm double-Leela!
- [runs with both eyes covered, bumps into wall]
- Warden Vogel: That's it, Albert. No more lattes for you.
- Leela: And what about this? Where did you get this bracelet? Did you steal it from me when I was a baby? Or from my parents? You robbed my parents, didn't you? I bet you sick mutants killed them! My parents were confused aliens lost on Earth and you killed them! Is that it? Admit it!
- Turanga Morris: Yes. We killed them.
- Turanga Munda: You guessed the truth.
- Leela: Argh! Because of you, I'll never meet my real parents! I'll kill you!
- Turanga Munda: That would be best.
- Raoul: This time, I'm calling for the death penalty, and not just because I'm running for reelection as Supreme Mutant.
- Mutants: Four more years! Four more years!
- Fry: [after seeing the effects of the mutagenic lake on a rat] It's like that time I peeked at the kitchen at Imperial Hunan.
- Leela: What is all this? Am I a game to you, or some kind of even more boring Truman Show? Do you believe I'm your Messiah? Your mutant Dalai Lama? Stop me if I guess it.
- Leela: I told a whole crowd today that being an orphan made me strong... But all I really wanted was a mom and dad; to hold me, and stroke my hair, and tell me they loved me...
- Fry: [Grins confidently] Then today's your lucky day, because I happen to be a holding, stroking, lovin' machine. Also spankin'.
- Leela: [Looks down glumly] That isn't even *close* to what I had in mind...
- Fry: [His tone becomes more serious] Well, anyway...
- [Puts his hand comfortingly on her shoulder]
- Fry: Just remember that people care about you.
- Leela: I know...