- Dwayne: Please, do not be frightened, we're harmless.
- Inglis Raoul: I have *three* arms.
- Dwayne: I said "harmless", not "armless".
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
- [Professor Farnsworth adjusts the empathy chip]
- Bender: My God. I'm overcome with feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
- Dr. Zoidberg: That's me, baby.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Hmmm.
- [Professor Farnsworth readjusts the chip]
- Bender: Now I'm worried I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time, I feel relieved I'm cuter than her.
- Amy Wong: Uuh, that's me.
- Fry: [Whispering to Amy] Thanks for covering.
- Bender: This time, I miss Nibbler, and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
- Amy Wong: Bingo.
- Hermes Conrad: That's Leela.
- Bender: Hey! I got a busted ass here and I don't see anyone kissing *it*!
- Dr. Zoidberg: All right, I'm coming!
- Fry: Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?
- Vet Jeffrey Grant: Hmm, I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this morning, but if he's anything like the common tree, the rings might indicate his age.
- Fry: He he, yeah, well, good luck. It'd take some kind of genius to count all those rings.
- Vet Jeffrey Grant: He's 5.
- Leela: I wish just once Bender could feel exactly what I feel.
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Actually, through the miracle of science, that can be arranged.
- Fry: Uh-oh. Is this gonna be one of those crazy experiments that crosses a line man was not meant to cross?
- [Professor puts his index and thumb close together in the "a little" sign]
- Leela: Bender, I thought you were supposed to be cooking for this party
- Bender: Fine, we'll have rack of Nibbler
- Leela: Just make a simple cake, and this time if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure you put them in after you cook it.
- Bender: So it's a cake you want, is it? I'll make you a cake you'll never forget!
- [cuts to Bender laughing manically as he dumps some rat poison into a bowl]
- Bender: [sets the bowl in front of a hole in the wall] That'll take care of those annoying rats, now to bake a cake so delicious they'll have no choice but to love and worship me!
- Bender: Listen to me, Leela. I'm an expert at not caring. The secret is to stop giving a rat's ass about anyone else and start thinking of the things that you want, that you deserve, that the world owes you.
- Leela: Well, I could use a new tank top.
- Bender: Bigger! Bigger!
- Leela: A fashionable tank top, and fashionable boots... encrusted with jewels.
- Bender: Don't stop now! You need pants to go with that outfit!
- Leela: Yeah! And I could afford it all if I didn't have to feed that stupid Nibbler!
- Bender: Bender is back! I'll save you, Nibbler!
- Inglis Raoul: Welcome to our village. It may not be Paris, but it has a certain quaint charm that I, for one, wouldn't trade for the world.
- Bender: You guys realize you live in a sewer, right?
- Dwayne: Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater civilization above you!
- Leela: No. We're on top.
- Fry: Daylight and everything.
- Dwayne: Oh.
- Vyolet: It must be wonderful.
- Bender: Eh.
- Fry: So, is it true that alligators flushed down the toilet survive here?
- Inglis Raoul: No, that's just an urban legend.
- Fry: Then what are those?
- Vyolet: Crocodiles.
- Inglis Raoul: We keep them as pets, then when they grow too large, we flush them down our sub-sewer.
- Dwayne: Some say there's a freakish race of sub-mutants down there.
- Vyolet: Please. That's just a sub-urban legend.
- Fry: Hey, what are these rings in Nibbler's fang?
- Vet: Hmm. I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this morning, but if he's anything like the common tree, the rings might indicate his age.
- Fry: Hehe, yeah, well. Good luck. It'd take some kind of genius to count all those rings.
- Vet: [looking at Nibbler's tooth for a split-second] He's 5.
- Bender: Hey. What are you doing with my head?
- Professor Hubert Farnsworth: I need to tinker in it.
- Bender: Why don't you just use a potted plant like Fry?
- Fry: According to this, we're right under Park Avenue. Ooh, ritzy! Just think, this was all once a charity luncheon for the Met.
- [the girls are at a single's bar]
- Amy Wong: Um, Leela, Armando and I are going to the back seat of his car for coffee.
- Fry: [in the sewer] This display of sweetness is making me nauseous. Or maybe it's whatever that is.
- [Fry's just been born]
- Doctor: It's a boy. And look at that red hair.
- Yancy Fry Sr.: [angry] You sayin' my boy is a Commie?
- Dr. Zoidberg, Amy Wong, Hermes Conrad, Leela, Professor Hubert Farnsworth: [singing] What is today?/ It's Nibbler's birthday/ What a day for a birthday/ Let's all have some cake.
- Fry: And you smell like one too!
- Leela: [crying after Bender has flushed Nibbler down the toilet] You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings.
- Bender: Of course I do, right now I feel sorry for you.
- Leela: You do?
- Bender: Yeah, I mean one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye?, you ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady.
- [Leela cries even harder]