- Drew Carey: Hey listen, uh, if you're keeping score at home, could you call us and let us know what the score is? 'Cause I lost track a long time ago.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Changed Letter", the letter W replaces the letter B] Hello. I'm a reporter for the Wugle.
- Greg Proops: Hey lady, can't you read the sign? It says "No women in the locker room."
- Colin Mochrie: Lighten up, ya wastard.
- Greg Proops: Who are you calling a wastard, you witch? That's right, I said witch!
- Colin Mochrie: I'm here to write a story about the star wasketwall player.
- Wayne Brady: Whoa, don't step on my wall.
- Ryan Stiles: [enters] You call yourself a Wadger?
- Wayne Brady: Yeah, I'm a Wadger.
- Ryan Stiles: That was a wad game! A wad game!
- [to Colin]
- Ryan Stiles: What are you doing in here with your... woows floppin' all over the place? Get outta here!
- Colin Mochrie: You can't talk to me like that!
- Wayne Brady: She came to do a story on wasketwall.
- Ryan Stiles: Oh, really?
- Greg Proops: That's right. On Wobby here, the hottest player in the whole game. That's right, Wobby Wenson.
- Ryan Stiles: Wobby, naked with his wooty hangin' out.
- Greg Proops: I told this witch, no ladies in the locker room! This is for wasketwall players only!
- Colin Mochrie: This story could get me on the way to a... wrilliant career.