- Wayne Brady: [in "Bartender", Wayne's in love with Chip the bartender]
- [Wayne comes on-stage and mimes locking the door and looking lovingly at Chip]
- Wayne Brady: Hi, Chip.
- Chip Esten: I think I need the drink.
- [mimes drinking]
- Wayne Brady: [singing] Every day, I walk by, of your place of work, / and I see your broad physique and your hair, and it makes my heart hurt. / In my head, if I could bite you, I'd take a little nip, / Because I'm the chocolate and you're the chip.
- Chip Esten: [singing] Oh Wayne, I think you're sweet. I really feel ya.
- Wayne Brady: Do ya? Do ya?
- Chip Esten: [singing] I can tell right now that you've got Chip-o-philia. / But there's one thing that I'm saying to you, boy: / Right now, Wayne, chip's ahoy!
- [runs off stage]
- Chip Esten: [in "Hoedown", about Superman]
- [singing]
- Chip Esten: Oh, Colin does remember all the time he spent / wishing he was Superman or at least Clark Kent. / He waited all his life, he waited for that day, / but just like Superman, his hair was up, up, and away!
- Drew Carey: [before "Sound Effects"]
- [to Sally, one of the audience members he chose]
- Drew Carey: Uh, Sally, do you know- do you own a little bird named Tweety?
- [audience laughs]
- Drew Carey: [Sally replies, "I don't think so."]
- [laughing while talking]
- Drew Carey: Sally and Cheryl...
- [Cheryl, the other audience member, adds: "Easy on my mother."]
- Drew Carey: Oh, it's your mother, I'm sorry. I'm just kidding around, she has a remarkable resemblance.