- Colin Mochrie: [in "Infomercial", about face lifts]
- [as Ryan is sticking wires on Colin's face]
- Colin Mochrie: And also, it can remove those pesky eyes!
- Ryan Stiles: [removing the wires] Wow, forty-eight inches, that's a melon!
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: Yeah. If you had another one, we could measure your nose.
- [audience awws]
- Ryan Stiles: I can hear you booing at home!
- Colin Mochrie: Yeah, the melon thing is fine.
- Drew Carey: [...]
- [after the game]
- Drew Carey: Yes, and may I say, Colin, you've never looked lovelier.
- Colin Mochrie: Why, thank you, Drew. You too.
- Drew Carey: Were you scared when those wires came at your eyes?
- Colin Mochrie: Yes.
- [audience laughs]
- Drew Carey: Pokin' with the...
- [makes scared expression]
- Colin Mochrie: Anything for a laugh.
- [audience laughs]
- Colin Mochrie: You notice all the melon jokes, the bald jokes, I make ONE nose joke, it's: "Ohhhh!"
- Brad Sherwood: [in "Changed Letter", where B is replaced by F] Were you out hunting male deer?
- [audience laughs]
- Brad Sherwood: A fig six pointer?
- Wayne Brady: Yes.
- Colin Mochrie: Damn those stags!
- Wayne Brady: A great fig...
- Colin Mochrie: Yeah.
- Wayne Brady: [...]
- [after the game]
- Wayne Brady: I didn't say it.
- Drew Carey: Yeah, you didn't say, uh...
- Wayne Brady: BUCK.
- Drew Carey: [disappointed] Right.
- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Baby Drew's first words."
- Colin Mochrie: Colin's bald.
- Wayne Brady: Hey nurse, come on.
- Ryan Stiles: [giggles] Pizza.
- Brad Sherwood: Show me dem boobs! Come on!