- Whoopi Goldberg: [Questions Only - Last night on a single's cruise] Can't you leave me alone?
- Wayne Brady: Is that the color purple?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Are you Helen Keller?
- Wayne Brady: Don't you want some of this?
- [starts dancing]
- Whoopi Goldberg: Didn't I have that and throw it out?
- Whoopi Goldberg: [Wayne starts laughing] Wasn't it just a bit on the wee side?
- [Wayne walks off stage]
- Colin Mochrie: Do you want some of this?
- [dances weird]
- Whoopi Goldberg: Are you crazy?
- Colin Mochrie: Did you know there's only two hours left?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Would I care if I knew?
- Colin Mochrie: Can't you make me a man?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Don't you think it's too late?
- [Audience starts laughing hysterically]
- Colin Mochrie: Don't you want to feel the pleasure that only one other woman has felt?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Is that the one who died?
- Colin Mochrie: Who's to know? 84 orgasms could kill you!
- Whoopi Goldberg: Are you telling me that you've had 84 orgasms and this is what I have to look forward to?
- Colin Mochrie: Don't you know it's not the package?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Has someone lied to you?
- Colin Mochrie: What are you saying?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Don't you think if I could, I would with you?
- Colin Mochrie: Why are you fighting this?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Do you think I'm fighting?
- Colin Mochrie: Don't you know I can read your eyes?
- [leans in close to Whoopi]
- Colin Mochrie: [kisses Colin quickly, walks off stage after buzzer]
- Ryan Stiles: How's it feel to kiss a woman for a change?
- [playing "Two-Line Vocabulary"]
- Colin Mochrie: All right, people, stay together. Remember, these aliens are tricky.
- Ryan Stiles: What is that?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Have you thought this through?
- Colin Mochrie: Well... no, but as your leader, it must appear as though I have.
- Whoopi Goldberg: [scoffing] That's impossible.
- Colin Mochrie: It's not impossible!
- Ryan Stiles: What is that?
- Colin Mochrie: That's your finger. It's all right! It's all right, we all have them. Now, remember, once these things get close to you, their... things come out, they suck your brain, and you become a robot.
- Ryan Stiles: Oh, I'm really in the mood.
- Colin Mochrie: I know. I'm not in the mood, either. That's why we've gotta stop them.
- Whoopi Goldberg: Have you thought this through?
- Colin Mochrie: Yes! That's why I brought the gun.
- Ryan Stiles: What is that?
- Whoopi Goldberg: That's impossible!
- Colin Mochrie: [to Ryan and Whoopi in turn] It's a gun. It's not. All right, you have your gun. Here, this one's for you.
- Ryan Stiles: What is that?
- Colin Mochrie: It's a gun! It's like yours, except smaller.
- Ryan Stiles: I'm really in the mood.
- Colin Mochrie: Okay.
- Whoopi Goldberg: That's impossible.
- Colin Mochrie: It's not impossible. Why are you so negative?
- Whoopi Goldberg: Have you thought it through?
- Colin Mochrie: Look!
- [looking threateningly at Whoopi]
- Ryan Stiles: [taps Colin]
- [disapprovingly]
- Ryan Stiles: What is that?
- Colin Mochrie: All, right. You're right. I should be calm. I am the leader.
- Ryan Stiles: I'm really in the mood.
- Whoopi Goldberg: That's impossible.
- Colin Mochrie: It's not impossible. If he thinks he's in the mood, let him do it.
- Whoopi Goldberg: [whispering] Have you thought this through?
- Colin Mochrie: Look! You ask me that one more time, I'm ripping your face off.
- Whoopi Goldberg: [childishly] That's impossible!
- Drew Carey: [after "Two-Line Vocabulary"] A thousand points for everybody. That was great.
- Whoopi Goldberg: I feel I should give my points back on that one.
- Drew Carey: No, that's okay, you got it.
- Whoopi Goldberg: I just don't know.
- Ryan Stiles: Y'know, sometimes you get points you didn't think you deserved, but other times, you think you deserved points that you didn't get.
- Whoopi Goldberg: Okay, then I'll keep my points.
- Drew Carey: So take 'em when you can get 'em, is what I'm saying.
- Whoopi Goldberg: [in "Living Scenery", as Wayne pretends to be an animatronic bear] Welcome to the Big Bear Jamboree! We're here with all our good friends, and you can watch us pee.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Living Scenery", as Wayne pretends to be a carousel] Oh look, it's Crazy Ted. Get out of here, Crazy Ted, you're not wanted!
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Helping Hands", playing a pirate captain]
- [Colin's arms behind his back feed him beer]
- Ryan Stiles: Ooh hey, that's REAL!