- Drew Carey: [after "Multiple Personalities"] I wish I could give you points, but I couldn't hear anything 'cause- 'cause Ryan's shoes are too loud.
- [referencing Ryan's blue shoes]
- Drew Carey: Yeah. No seriously, it's like you stepped in an airplane toilet and came to work.
- Ryan Stiles: Just keep signin' the checks, you can say anything you want.
- Drew Carey: Don't I know it!
- Drew Carey: [in "Scenes from a Hat"] "Outtakes from the Hillbilly National Theater's Shakespeare Festival."
- Greg Proops: Juliet, you get down here! I love you and you're my cousin! Get on down here!
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, that this two too solid flesh would squeal like a pig. Yee-haw.
- Wayne Brady: Yea, the two revenuers from Verona approacheth.
- [no audience response]
- Wayne Brady: Read a book, people.
- [audience and Drew laugh]
- Greg Proops: Look, Othello, we don't mind y'all movin' here, I just don't want you datin' my sister no more.
- Drew Carey: And listen, for the thousands of you that have written in: No, Colin and Ryan are NOT a couple.
- [pretends to giggle]
- Wayne Brady: [surprised] Really?
- Drew Carey: A couple of WHAT, that's what I'd like to know.
- Colin Mochrie: [in "Greatest Hits"] You know, as long as there have been doctors, there's been... people... singing about them.
- Ryan Stiles: By the way, we're not a couple.
- Colin Mochrie: When did THAT happen?
- Ryan Stiles: [quietly] Shut up.
- Ryan Stiles: [in "Greatest Hits" about songs of the doctor, after the first song, "This is Gonna Hurt a Little"] It doesn't hurt as much until you get that bill! Ha ha ha ha!
- [Colin weakly chuckles but quickly stops]
- Ryan Stiles: OH HA HA HA! AH HA HA HA!
- [quietly, to Colin]
- Ryan Stiles: Supposed to laugh with me. Ha ha ha ha.
- Colin Mochrie: Ha.
- [pause]
- Colin Mochrie: Y'know... mambo is great, isn't it?
- Ryan Stiles: [upset] Don't laugh, 'cause I'm not laughing with YOU.
- Colin Mochrie: Oh, ALL right. I'm sorry. Ha ha ha ha ha! You know, the great thing about putting compilation albums like this together is you can get... artists that you wouldn't expec- ex-expect to see on-on most CD sets, I'm so excited by this next one...
- Ryan Stiles: Are you okay?
- Colin Mochrie: I'm, ooh, ooh, clear!
- [mimes putting a defibrillator to his chest]