Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)
Show No. 422 (2001)
Ryan Stiles: Self
Photos
Quotes
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Wayne Brady : [in "Let's Make a Date"] What is your favorite thing in a woman?
Ryan Stiles : [as TV's "Crocodile Hunter"] Well, besides ME, I'd have to say...
[audience laughs/cheers]
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Ryan Stiles : [in "Newsflash", Colin is standing in front of pro wrestling footage] Colin, I know, uh, you were a little sore earlier. Did that Triple Preparation H I gave you help at all?
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Greg Proops : [in "Irish Drinking Song", about divorce]
[singing]
Greg Proops : I couldn't stand her nagging.
Colin Mochrie : [singing] She nagged me day and night.
Ryan Stiles : [singing] So I told her to go away.
Wayne Brady : [singing] Because her face was a fright.
Greg Proops : [singing] I wish I had money.
Colin Mochrie : [singing] And then I'd be so rich.
Ryan Stiles : [singing] And I'd never have to-
[accidentally takes Wayne's verse]
Ryan Stiles : invite that, oh, never mind!
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Colin Mochrie : [in "Whose Line", the scene is "Beauty and the Beast"]
[as Belle]
Colin Mochrie : Look, my, you've imprisoned my father. I'll do anything if you'll set him free.
Ryan Stiles : [as Beast] ANYTHING?
Colin Mochrie : [hesitantly] ... Yeah.
Ryan Stiles : I just want you to be with me. I see you out there every day, knowing I can never have you, and I think to myself,
[reading pre-written note]
Ryan Stiles : "Get a load of those cabasas."
Colin Mochrie : You know, I'm just a simple cabasa farmer. How can I possibly interest you?
Ryan Stiles : Don't you love that beasts love cabasas? Any sort of meat in a tube.
Colin Mochrie : How old are you?
Ryan Stiles : Thirty-two.
Colin Mochrie : You sound a lot older.
Ryan Stiles : Really?
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Ryan Stiles : [in "Whose Line", the scene is "Beauty and the Beast"] Why are you so afraid of me? Here, let me put this on...
[mimes putting on a top hat]
Ryan Stiles : and grab this cane. Am I so scary NOW?
[dances]
Colin Mochrie : You're kind of a lot scarier, actually.
[Ryan mimes throwing the top hat and cane away]
Colin Mochrie : And yet, there's something in your eyes. Some gentleness that I hadn't seen before, because of the extreme ugliness.
Ryan Stiles : Really? Well, I've loved you. Often, I've... looked at you and thought, "If I could only have a woman like that", well, if I could only have a woman like that...
[reading pre-written note]
Ryan Stiles : "Give it a tug and see what happens."
[Colin turns around]
Ryan Stiles : What are you so afraid of? It's ME, isn't it? Why am I so horrible?
[dances again]
Colin Mochrie : No please, don't do the dance thing!
Ryan Stiles : [mimes throwing the hat and cane away again] I'm just ugly. I'll live my days alone, by myself.
Colin Mochrie : "Alone, by yourself"?
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Colin Mochrie : [in "Whose Line", the scene is "Beauty and the Beast"]
[reading pre-written note]
Colin Mochrie : "Spit out the gum and kiss me hard."
[audience laughs]
Colin Mochrie : COME ON! Spit out my dad's gums and kiss me heard!
Ryan Stiles : [spits] How about if I kiss you WITH your dad's gums?
[mimes sticking the gums to Colin's cheek]
Ryan Stiles : ... I guess that won't do!
[Drew buzzes]
Ryan Stiles : Oh, apparently it will.