- Brad Sherwood: [Hoedown about going bald] I'm losing my hair and it really is a pain/I find out every morning when I see the shower drain/ But as you can see, it isn't quite for me/ But at least I'm not quite as bald as Colin Moch-a-rie
- Drew Carey: Aw man! He took my rhyme! I was going to do that!
- Drew Carey: [Sung] I have all my hair, and I really am quite happy/ I like putting stuff in my hair, it makes me look real snappy/I like to comb my hair, I never need a breather/ I'm so happy I'm not Colin Mochrie either!
- Colin Mochrie: People always kid me because I'm losing all my hair/ I can't really help it that I'm folically impaired/It really is quite horrible, but my life is not through/ I still get way more sex than either Brad or Drew!