Whose Line Is It Anyway? (TV Series)

Episode #9.2 (1997)

Greg Proops: Self

Photos 

Quotes 

• Clive Anderson : [before "Superheroes"]  It's Mr. Muscle and Mr. Zimmerman, all rolled into one. And what is the problem he's solving?

  [a man in the audience says, "Painful nipple erections."] 

  Greg Proops : That can't be right!

  Clive Anderson : Painful nipple erections may be YOUR problem, but it's scarcely... it's scarcely a worldwide problem, is it? I'll see you afterwards. I can see you from here. But... I was wondering what was nudging me in the back from time to time. A-any other- more of a worldwide problem?

  [a man shouts, "Perishing elastics!"] 

  Clive Anderson : Perishing elastics. Very good.

  Greg Proops : What was it?

  Clive Anderson : Perishing elastic. Elastic is a substance we have over here, it stretches, and it perishes, and things fall down, and things go wrong. So you are...

  Greg Proops : When's it gonna stop, huh? The aggression?

  Clive Anderson : When you give us our colonies back. Now, the...

  [audience applauds] 

  Clive Anderson : it's, uh... um... so you're Mr. Muscle/Mr. Zimmerman...

  Greg Proops : YOUR colonies.

  Clive Anderson : And it's, it's perishing...

  Greg Proops : CLIVE'S colonies. We call Zimmer frames "walkers", for our American friends.

  Clive Anderson : Oh, do you. All right. They're crisps over here, so we'll...

  [audience applauds] 

  Clive Anderson : And you're just, and you're just one letter away from what we call you.

• Greg Proops : [in "Hoedown", about giving birth] 

  [singing] 

  Greg Proops : I am nine months pregnant, I tell you that it hurts, / Every year I pop out, a couple of little squirts. / But when I go into the room, to have those little drugs...

  [talking] 

  Greg Proops : oh, fuck my ass. You know, failing is one of the major parts of television. If we may, I'll pick it up.

  Clive Anderson : Nah nah...

  Greg Proops : [singing]  Oh, I'm a little baby, I live inside my mummy. / In a couple month's time, I'll come out of her tummy. / When I'm grown, I will run around on rugs, / But so she doesn't cry, I hope she takes a lot of drugs.

  [audience cheers]