The West Wing (TV Series)
Dead Irish Writers (2002)
Stockard Channing: Abbey Bartlet
Photos
Quotes
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Abbey Bartlet : Where have you been all night?
Donna Moss : Well, it's a little tough to explain, ma'am.
Abbey Bartlet : Tougher to explain than secretly prescribing Betaseron?
Donna Moss : It turns out I'm not an American citizen, so Secret Service wanted me to talk to INS.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : What?
Donna Moss : I was born in Warroad, Minnesota, only I wasn't, 'cause INS just clarified the border and it's now in Manitoba.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : You're not an American?
Donna Moss : Missed it by four miles.
Amy Gardner : You seem pretty calm about it.
Donna Moss : No, I'm very upset. I don't know the words to my national anthem. I've been throwing out Canadian pennies my whole life. I've been making fun of the Queen! We don't do that.
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[Canadian National Anthem is playing with two Canadian flags raised in front of the party]
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet : [yells] What the hell is going on?
Abbey Bartlet : Shh.
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet : I was gone for 45 minutes. They were all Americans when I left.
Donna Moss : I know exactly how you feel, Mr. President.
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[British Ambassador Lord John Marbury joins the President and First Lady at her birthday gala celebration]
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : Abigail!
President Josiah Bartlet : Now it's a party.
Abbey Bartlet : Oh. Yes, your lordship.
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : Your breasts are magnificent.
Abbey Bartlet : Oh. Um... thank you, John.
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : May I inquire, Mr. President - the first thing that attracted you to Abigail - was it her magnificent breasts?
Abbey Bartlet : It was.
President Josiah Bartlet : You know John, there are places in the world where it might be considered rude to talk about the physical attributes of another man's wife.
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : My god. Really?
President Josiah Bartlet : Yeah.
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President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet : Look, obviously we knew that this was going to be a thing, but it doesn't have to be tonight, right?
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : No, absolutely not. I shall take it up with Gerald.
Abbey Bartlet : Who's Gerald?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet : I'm pretty sure he means Leo.
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : Hmm. Oh, do you have a new Chief of Staff?
President Josiah "Jed" Bartlet : No.
Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : Well, then Gerald it is!
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Abbey Bartlet : Claudia Jean?
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : Yes, ma'am?
Abbey Bartlet : Let's get drunk.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : [surprised] Oh, okay.
[Abbey walks off. C.J. follows]
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Brit. Ambassador Lord John Marbury : [Lord Marbury is drunk] Abigail, may I grasp your breasts?
President Josiah Bartlet : I'm standing right here!
Abbey Bartlet : You may kiss my cheek.
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Abbey Bartlet : Here we go. Awasiwi Odinak - far from the things of man. When Jed first took me to his house, which is 25 miles from anywhere, he said, "Awasiwi Odinak: Far from the things of man." What a jackass.
Claudia Jean 'C.J.' Cregg : I'm gonna open the wine.
Abbey Bartlet : The wine is a '95 Old Vine zinfandel from Hog Cellars, which once belonged to King Boudouin of Belgium, and is best sipped while making anagrams out of the phrase, "My husband's an enormous jackass!"