- Dr. Johnny Fever: [sarcastically about Bailey's offer to do something she learned at journalism school that Johnny could not do] College graduate!
- Venus Flytrap: Well, you never went to college.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Hey man, I went through Princeton.
- Venus Flytrap: I'll bet.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: I did! It was in a car. Squad car, actually. Very, very educational.
- Arthur Carlson: [to Johnny about his apology for an error he made] Well, nobody's perfect. You're not perfect, I'm not perfect. Jennifer, maybe, but...
- Dr. Johnny Fever: How did you get Carlson to give you the prize money for this contest?
- Andy Travis: Well man, it took me a month, but I finally did it. I told him about an article I came across in one of the trade magazines...
- Dr. Johnny Fever: Hm-huh.
- Andy Travis: ...how this psychologist drew a parallel between a station manager's contest budget... and his virility.
- Dr. Johnny Fever: So he gave you a blank check?