The Vicar of Dibley (TV Series)
Celebrity Vicar (1998)
Trevor Peacock: Jim Trott
Quotes
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[first lines]
David Horton : Right, we've got a lot of stuff to get through tonight, so if I could ask you all not to waste time with the traditional distractions, repetitions and general annoyances that are the usual content of these parish council meetings.
Owen Newitt : Good idea.
Geraldine Granger : You're the boss.
David Horton : Excellent. Ready, Frank?
Frank Pickle : Absolutely.
David Horton : Bravo! Point one: the Gala Night. I thought St. Valentine's Day with all the profits going to the upkeep of the village hall. Happy with that, Jim?
Jim Trott : Yes.
Hugo Horton : Father.
David Horton : Later, Hugo.
Hugo Horton : I didn't say anything.
David Horton : What do you mean?
Hugo Horton : [his lips are not moving] Father. Father.
David Horton : Oh no. It's a dream, isn't it?
Geraldine Granger : [dressed as an angel] Yes, David, I'm afraid it is.
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Geraldine : What's worse than not selling any tickets at all?
Owen Newitt : Well selling one ticket. But selling it to a serial killer.
Jim : No, no, no, no, th-that's right. Who comes on the stage, and slits all our throats, and then leaves us all in a great pool of blood!
David Horton : Does anyone actually have this serial killer's address?
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David Horton : Item six: Gala Night. Ideas for content?
Jim : No, no, ye-yes! I saw this film the other night: the Full Monty. You get some music; I'll take all my clothes off.
David Horton : And that would be entertaining, would it?
Jim : They'll certainly get their money's worth. I'm taking off my truss and everything.
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David Horton : For God's sake! This is exactly the kind of interruption we're trying to avoid!
Jim : Oh, uh, I thought you had meant the kind of thing like where, you know, you're talking about Owen's cattle. And I think you're talking about Owen's kettle. And I say I'll lend him mine, but... it's fused at the moment.
David Horton : Yes. Well, that kind of thing can be pretty annoying, too. Moving on.
Hugo : Your kettle really not working, Jim?
Jim : No, no, absolutely knackered.
Owen Newitt : I can lend you mine, at a very reasonable price.
David Horton : [banging his gavel] Stop it right there!
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David Horton : Point one: the date of the Gala Night. I thought Valentine's day, February the fourteenth.
Geraldine Granger : Yup, that sounds fine to me.
David Horton : Thank God for that,
Geraldine Granger : So long as you don't mind it being on the same day as the Cattle Show.
Jim : Oh, are we having a Kettle Show?