Nikki Cox: Tiffany Malloy

Quotes 

• Ryan Malloy : So, who's the new guy?

  Tiffany Malloy : Oh, his name is Billy, and we are *so* in love.

  Ryan Malloy : Love. Love is for girls! *Porn* is for guys! And, uh, beer is what brings the two of them together!

  Tiffany Malloy : [mobile phone rings]  Hello? Oh. Oh, I miss you too! Okay. Till then. Bye.

  [imitates kiss, puts away phone] 

  Tiffany Malloy : That was Billy. He called to make sure I made it safely across the room.

  [Billy stands waving] 

  Ryan Malloy : Oh, I get it. He's gay!

  Tiffany Malloy : He is *not* gay.

  Ryan Malloy : Oh, come on! He holds your hand, and not only does he have a cellphone, but he uses it to call you from across the room! Gay!

  Tiffany Malloy : Not gay, okay? Just acting gay 'cause he's in love with me. That's what straight guys do when they fall in love. They act all gay. And I really think I might be in love with him too. Ryan, I think this might be the guy. I think the time has come for me to lose my virginity.

  Ryan Malloy : Yum-ping yimminy!

  [to the viewers:] 

  Ryan Malloy : I don't know, you think anyone will stay tuned?

  [Tiffany nods emphatically] 

• Barbara Kaufman : Trust me. Touch Celibate Boy and he'll be begging like a Spice Girl in two years.

  Tiffany Malloy : You know what? You're right! Why should I respect his wishes? A guy can't learn too young that what he wants doesn't mean a damn thing! I'll touch him and I will have him!