- Maureen Slattery: [to Jennie] This is the thanks I get? I still pee funny because of your painful birth. You were a monster even before you were born. Pills, smoking, alcohol, nothing would stop that incessant kicking.
- Jennie Malloy: It was eleven months. It was time for you to uncross your legs and let me out!
- Maureen Slattery: I wanted you to be a Sagittarian.
- Jack Malloy: Look, I know it doesn't seem like I got much pride. I mean, I have caved in on every major decision of my life. But a man has got to draw the line somewhere. God knows why I didn't draw it at getting married. Or having children. Or even taking Jennie to see that Barry Manilow concert. God, I really didn't want to see Manilow. I was the only man there with a woman for a wife.