- Jack Malloy: Oh, it sure is tough being a father. I just wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
- Mr. Floppy: Absolutely. You saved your little girl. 'Cos guys just want one thing.
- [thinks this over]
- Mr. Floppy: Actually, two things. They want air-conditioning too.
- [thinks this over]
- Mr. Floppy: Actually, three things. Cable TV.
- [thinks this over]
- Mr. Floppy: Actually, four things. Guys want to be left alone and not talked to until it's time to go to bed.
- [thinks that over]
- Mr. Floppy: No, actually five things. They want to wake up alone in the morning so that they don't have to talk about their 'feelings.'
- [Jack laughs, and lots of time clearly elapse:]
- Mr. Floppy: Maybe ninety-six things. A gun. A big gun.
- [nods to himself]
- Mr. Floppy: Maybe ninety-seven things.
- [Jack raises his eyes]
- Mr. Floppy: Did I say air-conditioning?
- Jack Malloy: [consulting a list on yellow notepad] Yeah, you said air-conditioning. 2, 25 and 69.
- Mr. Floppy: Did you say sixty-nine?
- [thinks this over]
- Mr. Floppy: Maybe ninety-eight things...
- Jack Malloy: [as Ryan comes home in a disheveled state] Hi, son. Looks like you got lucky.
- Ryan Malloy: [in bad state] She hurt me, Dad. She was a big woman. She danced on the line between pleasure and pain. And she jumped over that line.
- [starts crying]
- Ryan Malloy: She hurt me really bad.
- [burying his head against Jack's chest, gets patted]
- Ryan Malloy: Dad, can you get rabies from a human bite?
- Jack Malloy: [laughing, sharing the joke with Jennie] Sounds like he had quite a time.
- [to Ryan]
- Jack Malloy: Look, son, you don't have to make up stories for me. You didn't score, but you tried. And that's the thing that counts.
- [a paternalistic pat on the arm]
- Ryan Malloy: [miserably] I'd soak in a hot tub if it didn't bring back such painful memories.
- Jennie Malloy: [as Ryan dazedly staggers off up the stairs] You know, I'm a little worried about Ryan. I know he leads an empty little life, but it's upsetting that he would lie to us.
- [there is a heavy knock on door]
- Amazon Woman: [door is opened for husky-voiced, whip-wielding, six foot tall dominatrix in leather and chains] Where is my little lost lamb? I wasn't finished.
- Jack Malloy: [directing her up the stairs] Second bedroom on the left.
- Jennie Malloy: [as the tigress heads up for the kill] Isn't that cute? Ryan finally has a little girlfriend!
- Ryan Malloy: Dad! I need a car!
- Tiffany Malloy: Dad! I need a Ferragamo pump!
- Ross Malloy: Dad! The dog dutied in my room. Clean it up!
- Tiffany Malloy: Trust me, Daddy. You know I won't let anybody touch me. Just my husband. Right after he signs over 51% of the stock. The point is, Daddy, you know my motto. I will only trade my purity for financial security.